Like most women, I am many things: an employee, daughter, and sister; a woman who hates cleaning and loves dark chocolate, my dogs, and days out on the lake. But probably the role that brings me the most joy is being a mom to four amazing kids. (If you don’t believe me, they’ll tell you they are.)
People who know me know how much I love being a mom, so they’re often surprised I don’t really like Mother’s Day. It’s an unusual sentiment, but I bet, deep down, moms feel this way. And ironically, perhaps, the reasons why I don’t care for Mother’s Day are directly tied to the reasons why I think women should have as many kids as they want as soon as possible.
I’ll explain.
First, Mother’s Day, like other token Hallmark holidays, is a commercialized holiday that the founder of the day later disowned and tried to abolish In modern times, it seems like it confuses men with arbitrarily high standards, honors moms with one-off gifts like a spa day, flowers, or an expensive brunch, then—like the very magic moms provide—the idea of motherhood and the load they carry vanishes again until next year.
That doesn’t stop people from trying to make Mother’s Day relevant. In 2026, Americans are expected to spend a record $38 billion on Mother's Day—almost $300 per person.
Despite how it sounds, I don’t hate Mother’s Day because I hate moms, loathe flowers or the spa, or even motherhood myself—but rather for the opposite reason. I’ve built my life around my kids and work hard to be an intentional, nurturing, stabilizing mom. It’s not a 9-5, high-paying gig. It’s a 24/7, exhausting but fulfilling calling every day of the year.
Motherhood can be summed up well in the iconic scene in “Jerry Maguire,” when Tom Cruise’s character, a sports agent, tells Cuba Gooding Jr.’s character, an athlete, about all he does for him: “I am out here for you. You don’t know what it’s like to be me out here for you. It is an up at dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about.” It’s funny, but true for moms.
I’m sure many moms appreciate the gestures associated with Mother’s Day. If the mom in your life wants that, by all means please do it. But motherhood is all-encompassing. It feels like honoring the meaning and work of motherhood with an expensive brunch just doesn’t do it justice.
At the same time, as contradictory as it might sound, my disdain for Mother’s Day as a mom of four actually informs one of my strongest values and opinions in life: Women should have babies—and as many as possible as early as possible.
Women are delaying having kids. I understand why: It’s expensive, childcare seems unattainable, and women aren’t meeting the partner they want to have kids with.
Provided women have found the right man and are in a healthy marriage, I think women should lean into having babies as young as possible, when it’s easiest to recover from childbirth and be a hands-on mom.
Mother’s Day encourages men and families to honor moms once a year with flowers or a massage, but there’s so much more beauty to being a mom than getting a card. Motherhood surpasses a holiday the way living your life to the fullest every year surpasses a great birthday dinner.
Yes, being a mom takes work, and every season of the kids’ lives requires moms to change with it. I am a different mother to my teenagers than I was to them when they were toddlers. In fact, the teen years make toddlerhood look like a walk in the park. But both are beautiful walks and part of an ever-changing journey that challenges, sanctifies, and sharpens us. Being a mom is so much better than just getting a massage on Mother’s Day.
Moms should be honored year-round, not just on Mother’s Day. Some are. This largely depends on the circle of people in your life. But if this is lacking, remember: Moms don’t become mothers for gifts or acknowledgment, and I can promise that the distinct joy and weight of motherhood is far more meaningful than a farce of a Hallmark holiday.
