Beloved actor James Van Der Beek died Feb. 11 after a battle with colorectal cancer. Fans know him for his famous roles in “Dawson’s Creek” and “Varsity Blues,” among other films and shows, including appearing on “Dancing with the Stars.”
But it wasn’t until he came face-to-face with a grave cancer diagnosis that Van Der Beek told fans that being an actor wasn’t the role he cherished most. I think we can learn a lot from the way a Hollywood actor embraced cancer, faced death, and leaned into being a husband, father, and God’s child.
Van Der Beek chose to love people rather than a career.
In the wake of Van Der Beek’s death, I’ve been struck by how many people on social media have commented on how much he valued friendship, faith, and family. While the rest of us knew him as a cute actor and charming guy on screen, he had been busy building a very different reputation in the real world. It mattered far more to him than Hollywood film credits.
During his final days in hospice, Van Der Beek’s inner circle of friends—many of whom were well-known in Hollywood—said goodbye. These include “Dancing With the Stars” co-host Alfonso Ribeiro, “Law & Order” actor Mehcad Brooks, WWE Hall of Famer Stacy Keibler and designer Erin Fetherston. I was amazed at how many loving, beautiful tributes friends and family posted about him on social media. Even his ex-wife had nothing but kind words about her former husband and his current wife, Kimberly. This says a lot about his character and values.
Van Der Beek’s friends posted about him as if he were their best friend, like he made each person feel as if they were the only person in the world. This way of cultivating relationships does not happen by accident; it takes considerable time, thought, and effort. He valued people over any material gain Hollywood could give him. This still applies to all of us outside the entertainment industry.
Van Der Beek loved being a family man, not an actor.
After Van Der Beek starred in “Dawson’s Creek” and “Varsity Blues,” he still didn’t seem to put a lot of stock in Hollywood or acting. Years later, the actor got married, started a family, and had six adorable kids. In 2020, Van Der Beek and his wife moved to Texas to lead a more purposeful life, connected to nature and family—the opposite of what most Hollywood stars do.
Society, including Hollywood, tells us that our careers matter more than anything. Men and women, moms and dads, are encouraged, through subtle and overt messaging, to climb the ladder, earn more, and achieve career success. In Hollywood, this would have meant pouring himself into acting. But Van Der Beek found that didn’t satiate him.
Instead, his thought-provoking social media posts made it clearthat he found more meaning in being a husband and dad. Even that became hard, forcing him to focus on where he stood with God.
In a video posted last year on his Instagram page, he explained to fans that the effects of cancer and treatments challenged his identity. He finally realized even if he couldn’t be a great father and husband at the moment, due to his illness, he was still worthy of God’s love. This is so beautiful and so true.
Mortality has a way of making a person’s priorities clear. But the rest of us need not wait for a grave diagnosis. We may not all have the gift of reframing our lives after a diagnosis like cancer, but Van Der Beek lived life right by prioritizing his family, friends, and faith, some of those even well before he was diagnosed with cancer in late 2023.
Seeing all of this after Van Der Beek died, I have been moved to look closely at my own priorities: Am I just chasing a job, a higher paycheck, or career success? In the end, that’s not really what matters. When people face death, they don’t wish they worked more. I have been inspired to make sure I am constantly pouring myself into what really matters: family, friends, and faith.
