James Comey is an embarrassment. The former FBI director has the mind of a 13-year-old girl. He's obsessed with Taylor Swift, he hates Donald Trump, and when combined, he's emblematic of everything that is wrong with Democrats and their Never Trump counterparts.
On Sunday, Comey released a video for his Substack. He told his viewers he had Covid (called it a flashback), complained that Donald Trump "is still president, still humiliating America on the national stage," and praised Taylor Swift with the heart of a friendship bracelet-wearing squealing Swiftie.
In his rambling confessorial, Comey said he's "in a family Swiftie group chat" and that he's been supporting her career for years. "Taylor Swift has grown up with my family," he said, ahead of her new record release, talking about how her music has been a key part of their celebrations and one of their coping mechanisms.
Taylor Swift showed Comey how to stand up to bullies, like Trump, without being "infect[ed]" by his "meanness." This is the guy who posted a shell game calling to "86" Trump, then played the fool when he was called out on it.
In fact, Comey prefers Swift's "approach" to the political maneuvers of California Governor Gavin Newsom. "I don't want us to become like Trump and his followers," Comey went on, "there are far more decent, honest, kind people in America than there are mean jerks."
He said Republicans are "course" and "ugly," leaning into that all-too-frequent criticism of Trump and his supporters' "tone" or even their "vibe." Too often, when Democrats can't come up with anything actually substantive to critique, they lean into this idea that they just don't like the guy's ouvre—as if that has anything to do with how he's leading the nation.
"On the whole, we aren't like that and we don't like that," Comey said softly, "I think that's a big part of the reason so few Americans support Donald Trump when they have to see him, and that, up close, and why Republicans are so worried about what's coming for them next year."
Like so many of his Democrat brethren, Comey doesn't worry himself with policies or plans, he's just obsessed with having the ick for Trump. But Americans—the ones who don't behave like grown tweens afraid of cooties—what really matters is peace, prosperity, crime, and security.
He claims he's not an advocate for weakness, and that "we need to stand up to jerks and defend what matters," then says the way to do that is to emulate Taylor Swift. "She's made it clear she sees Donald Trump for what he is," he said, and praised her endorsement of laugh-riot former VP Kamala Harris.
"While our elderly makeup-covered president is posting about whether Taylor Swift is still hot and declaring that he can’t stand her, what’s she doing?" He asked. "Living her best life, producing great music and as she urged all of us to do during the podcast, not giving the jerks power over her mind," he answered.
And then he quoted Swift in perhaps one of the more vapid things she's said on the podcast she aired with her main squeeze Travis Kelce and his brother. "Think of your energy as if it's expensive. As if it's like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it."
Perhaps that's how he thinks of himself, and how he wants Democrats and Never Trumpers to think of themselves: as too good to consort with the working class Trump voters who were tired of being talked down to, tired of being lied to, and done with being belittled. Comey's energy is just too expensive for the rest of us to afford it.
"We can't stop people from being jerks," Comey said, "but what we can do is stop it from hurting us, from changing us." And that, to Comey, and to so many Democrats, Never Trumpers, and leftists across the country, is the most important thing: themselves.
Just as he claims to care about others, what he really cares about is himself, his pop culture obsession, and disparaging those he disagrees with politically to the point where he doesn't even feel they deserve the time of day from him—his energy is just too luxurious for the rest of us.
Comey's whole jam in his 5 minute video exuberating on the wonder of Taylor Swift is to hold himself and his fellow Swifties aloft—he believes they are just too good to waste their time on Trump, on the half of America who voted for him, or on the working class who just couldn't afford another four years of Democrat elites telling everyone what to think, how to live, or how to raise their kids.
It's the same thing on endless repeat with these guys: they think they're better than the Trump voters, they think they are too smart, too tasteful, too important. And in putting everyone with whom they disagree down, in making a play for superiority, in claiming they alone have the right vibe to lead, they show they're just a bunch of mean tweens eager to shame anyone who had the nerve to vote Trump.
