Yesterday, Kamala Harris faced a test. After playing second fiddle to the sclerotic Joe Biden for four years, the newly minted Democratic nominee for president finally had the opportunity to make her first and most consequential personnel decision; one which would signal her intentions for the country as president.
It was not an easy decision; Harris faced a veritable buffet of the Democratic party’s top talent. Would she choose the telegenic governor of Pennsylvania Josh Shapiro, whose media skills could be plausibly compared to Barack Obama’s, and who the media and donor class adored? Would she pick the literal astronaut Mark Kelly, with all-American good looks and a wife who was a high-profile victim of gun violence? Would she choose the clean-cut gay Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg who had been the darling of Democratic elites once before, and who could still lay claim to their loyalty without the messy baggage that Shapiro’s “Zionism” (read: Judaism) might carry? Or – and to Republicans, this was more a fond hope than anything else – would she avoid all those compelling, moderate-friendly choices and instead become a walking Babylon Bee headline by picking the governor no one had heard of until five minutes ago, but who had flirted with fame due to his extreme pro-abortion and pro-trans policies, and who had rolled out the red carpet for BLM rioters in the summer of 2020?
Oh, who are we kidding, you all know the punchline. Which brings us to the Democrats’ (somehow) actual nominee for Vice President of the United States, Tim Walz. Or as we like to call him, woke Archie Bunker.
To begin with, Tim Walz has one big thing in common with Kamala Harris: he shouldn’t be here. No, really, he shouldn’t. Until recently, he was a cipher who most people (likely including his own constituents) were happy to forget. That all changed when Walz, in an appearance on Morning Joe (of course) fatefully described President Trump and his vice-presidential pick J.D. Vance as “weird.” That epithet – which we thought went out with junior high – was sufficient to catapult Walz to national stardom as every Twitter user with a watermelon emoji in their bio went into conniptions about Walz, declaring him the dad they all wish they had. No, seriously, try searching for “tim walz ice cream” on Twitter and see how much embarrassing fanfiction you can find about this one man.
And look, judging by Walz’s waistline, we aren’t denying that he’s probably more than familiar with ice cream. Nevertheless, Tim Walz has nothing in common with that particular delicacy. Ice cream freezes the brain, whereas Tim Walz’s policies freeze the blood.
Item one: Under Walz’s leadership, at least eight infants were born alive after botched abortions and left to die without healthcare. We know Twitter wants him to be their dad, but we suspect those eight babies would disagree.
Item two: Tim Walz made Minnesota a “trans refuge” state, meaning that if one parent kidnaps their child and takes them to Minnesota to have life-altering transition surgery, there is nothing the other parent can do about it. To compound this, Walz has banned any therapy which attempts to dissuade children and teenagers from transitioning, labeling it “conversion therapy.” Minnesota Children’s Hospitals allow children to transition starting at 3 or 4 years old. And J.D. Vance is the weird one?
Item three: Walz deliberately held off on deploying the National Guard during the George Floyd riots of 2020, and his own daughter even tweeted out intelligence on the guard’s movements to rioters. We don’t like to imagine what girls’ nights with Walz’s BLM riot spy daughter and Kamala’s terrorist fundraising stepdaughter would be like. Though we’re just as reluctant to find out what Walz, who let Minneapolis burn, and Kamala, who fundraised for the rioters, talk about when the cameras were off. Oh, and speaking of the National Guard, Walz’s own comrades in the Guard have nothing good to say about him. According to them, he “slithered out the door” before being deployed to Iraq. Despite this, he has continued to claim credit for his Guard service, in a clear case of stolen valor. We can’t wait to see what J.D. Vance – you know, the Marine – makes of that on the debate stage.
Item four: Walz’s public statements prior to being chosen have been…there’s no other word for it…weird. He has, for example, talked about atoning for his “privilege as a white man,” and said “one man’s socialism is another man’s neighborliness.” We’re not exactly sure what asking to borrow a cup of sugar has to do with gulags, mass-murder, and the Stasi, but we can’t wait for him to tell us. Moreover, Walz’s family is just as strange. We’ve already touched on his daughter, but his wife is just as bad. She has, for example, described her elation at smelling burning tires during the Floyd riots, and says convicted criminals should get “as many chances as they need.” What’s next, will Mrs. Frazzle be nominated for Secretary of Education?
Item five: During COVID, Walz actually rationed access to life-saving medical treatment on the basis of skin color. We’ll say that again. Walz allowed his health officials to choose who got treatment and who didn’t on the basis of their race. To call this unconstitutional is comically insufficient. To call it inhuman is closer to the mark. Instituting a reverse Jim Crow system in health care is not a record which any politician, of any party, should be proud of. Yet apparently, some are, because did we forget to mention the Squad loves Walz? Because they do. He’s already drawn accolades from Ilhan Omar and Jamaal Bowman.
We could go on. Doubtless, there will be any number of other awful facts about Walz which get unearthed by opposition researchers in the coming months. But this is enough to make a much larger point: Walz is, at least in theory, supposed to be the Democrats’ attempt at reaching out to the midwestern white working class, and these are his policies. When Republicans tried to reach that demographic, they picked a Yale-educated Marine who’d made good and wanted to give back to his roots. The Democrats, on the other hand, picked an alcoholic gym teacher who governs like Ilhan Omar and who got famous for talking like the villain in a John Hughes movie. That is, after all, all they think the white working class are: a bunch of drunken high school bullies who’ll vote for whoever shouts the right combination of words about football and neighborliness, with not a thought to that person’s actual policies.
The insult could not be more obvious. And let’s not kid ourselves, the Democrats didn’t have to pick this guy to appeal to that voting bloc. They had an embarrassment of choices, many of whom would’ve appealed far more strongly to those voters. What they didn’t have was an abundance of candidates who would be accepted by their rabidly antisemitic, anti-white, mentally ill base. Don’t take our word for it; take the word of CNN contributor Van Jones, who said Harris was appeasing “anti-Jewish bigots” by picking Walz. Boy, that’s a great testament to what they think of Michigan, Wisconsin, and Pennsylvania’s voters, isn’t it?
Which gets to the real reason why Kamala Harris’ first personnel pick is so disastrous for her campaign: because as our own Jack Posobiec put it, “Tim Walz isn’t actually what folksy Midwestern politicians look like. He’s a woke San Francisco liberal’s idea of what folksy Midwestern politicians should look like.”
And what do our betters want Midwestern politicians to look like? Like witless thugs who make excuses for lawless thugs and mentally ill goon cave dwellers who get a vicarious thrill up their leg whenever they get the chance to call someone with actual accomplishments “weird” because it distracts from the fact that they’re pathetic. And make no mistake, the Harris-Walz ticket is pathetic. It’s the mental image people get whenever they hear the phrase “we have Obama-Biden at home.” It’s the tragedy of the braindead Left reborn as a farce.
Thankfully, Donald Trump will end that sad, pathetic, and deeply weird farce before long, with the help of the very voters who Walz insults simply by existing. And then, hopefully, the grownups will be back in charge, and the fake, cackling thugs on the Left can get stuffed back in the lockers, where they belong.
