Saddened by the news of the passing of lifelong “teenager” Dick Clark, whose best contribution might have been being colorblind in his embrace of music and artists at a time when many in our country were not. We also liked that he managed to keep his family together in a town full of people who so easily dispatch commitment. Also of note, the passing of the musical great Levon Helm of The Band fame and other musical and acting ventures. His was a voice with hurt and heart. The usually quiet Bob Dylan offered a touching tribute to his friend. “He was my bosom buddy friend to the end, one of the last true great spirits of my or any other generations,” Dylan said in a statement on his website.
Well, Brangelina is engaged - tout le monde, no doubt, swoons in romantic celebu-bliss. Sure, their multi-culti kid army must be happy. But the tabloids must be shuddering. Not only will there be insane competition for coverage of any future (and likely secret) wedding, but what kind of bidding war do you think will ensue over publication rights to any nuptial snaps? Betcha the celeb couple will sell em and give the millions - yes, plural - to some far-flung international charity. Nice ring, tho. That Brad has good taste in the baubles. And Jennifer Aniston: well, let’s just say that looking like THAT is the best revenge. Amazing, girl. Inspirational fitness.
Kim Kardashian, seeking ways to stay relevant after chronic overexposure and wedding split backlash, reportedly may enter the political fray, stepping in to make a future run as the mayor of the heavily Armenian (her family heritage) Glendale, Calif. (We’ll be right back in a second whilst we finish our paperwork for the presidency. Oy.) Give this whole family great credit for the publicity stunts. How does Bruce Jenner survive? No, really. Is it just a money thang?
With the recent release of the 3D version of the classic film, all y’all “Titanic” fascinators can now practice jumping from the doomed ship on your own. Check it.
That crafty Richard Hatch, he of “Survivor” - Season 1 fame, and a subsequent tax evasion prison term, can now be seen on TV hawking a legal service for those with tax problems, taxsurvivor.com. He looks good. No surprise. With his kind of moxie, we predict that guy will outlast and outplay a lotta folks in years to come – like him or not. Reality TV should take him back in a New York minute. Can you see him as a guest judge on one of the music or fashion shows? Oh, snaps. Evil deluxe. Love it!
Thanks E! Online for posting a photo of Kelsey Grammer getting a tattoo of his latest wife on his hip. A couple more creepy views like that and we’re certain to turn bullemic. Oh, ick.
Just when we were worried that our precious beer funnel photos and freaky weekend in Cabo snaps might need a more protective cyber-home, Maryland becomes the first state to take up legislation keeping employers away from Facebook passwords. Whew. Big brother is at bay. AS IF.
In breaking rock news, the very erratic Hole singer Courtney Love has apologized via Twitter to estranged daughter Frances Bean Cobain for mom’s online outbursts accusing her daughter of hooking up with the very married Foo Fighter Dave Grohl - charges both Grohl and daughter have heavily rebuked. If Frances is living far, far away from the weirdness, that’s probably a good thing. We continue to pray her young life will turn out OK, in spite of the swirling circus. Le sigh.
Tupac is back - did he ever REALLY go away? At the Coachella music fest last week the revered late rap star made an appearance in a hologram. Talk about a stage show. The kids, as they like to say, were “trippin’” over the spectacle. Not sure how we feel about this but if someone comes up with another one, say Biggie Smalls eating a giant cheeseburger, let us know.
Extreme Congressional Fashion Quandary of the Week: Rep. Rosa DeLauro - that political vixen - wore a black leather skirt and jacket on the House floor, Human Events congressional correspondent Audrey Hudson reports in a news-we-can-use missive. Aside from the obvious black leather in daylight after Easter issue, ahem… is such an ensemble appropriate gear for Congress? In da clubb, sure. House floor? Meh.
A hat tip to Malaysia Airlines, which announced a child-free business and first class policy on all of its A380 jets. Might we suggest to other airlines, a policy of a kids and families section. You’re headed to grandma’s in Sarasota, you sit there. You need to get work done, you’re paired with other similar travelers at the front of the bus. Certainly this would be welcome news for those who travel for business and need a little quiet down time between stops. Air travel, from the goony security at the airport to the pleasure of being haughtily stuffed into a giant, overcrowded germ tube, has become a miserable experience. Common sense is gone. Aren’t you always shocked by the least little moment of customer service? We are. BTW: American and US Air are merging. With a stronger bond, they can abuse us all MORE.
Dear Secret Service: Let us get this straight: You wanted to waste our taxpayer dollars on Colombian hookers and then waste them again to interview wildman rocker Ted Nugent over offhanded remarks about the president, which anyone with any sense would know are simply partisan cackle true to his persona? That’s abuse, kids. The only things the Motor City Madman poses a danger to are wild game and ear drums. Stand down and get your own house in order. Puhleeze.
Oh, Vogue. Yes we like to match. Always. And sometimes you read our mind.
TV “Housewife” Eva Longoria will serve as the muy caliente national co-chair of LatinosforObama. Wonder who the other co-chair is? If it’s Ricky Martin, we are so down. Our vida is loca. And while we talking about our Latin friends: Is that William Levy on “Dancing With the Stars” a Cuban force of nature? He’s already burned a hole in our flatscreen. Yowza. Boy can dance.
Sure sign of the apocalypse: Oprah has been left off Time magazine’s most influential people list – for the first time EVAH. Pardon us while we step away to redecorate our doomsday shelter.
Obama says he wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth but with the recent revelations of dog meat, some are definitely going with Milk Bone. Comics nationwide have made a field day over this canine dining admission. The prez heads to Jimmy Fallon next week in what feels like the quieter prelude to an epic White House battle in the summer months ahead.
