The Wall Street Journal recently reported that “Americans Are Having Less Sex Than Ever.” According to the report by the Institute for Family Studies titled “The Sex Recession,” people between the ages of 18 and 64 are having “record low amounts of sex,” and this “downward shift in sexual activity” is a cause for worry. The new desire of the 21st century is not the flesh (not even for fantasy) but suggestions and simulacra of sex.
The percentages are pretty straightforward: 55% down from 1990, and 24% of younger people (18-29) reported the same decline, which is worse than in 2010.
This is indeed a rather grim and limp report, especially since it involved a variety of people: single and married people, and people of any sexual orientation. Setting aside any sexual morality and only dealing with raw data, it is troubling that people are not seeking pleasure or that they are finding it elsewhere. Some people don’t want to be bothered by a relationship and focus on their career instead, others are worried about the state of the world (a fear that most likely set in during Covid restrictions), while others are in a computer psychosis through Netflix, Xbox, or social media.
WSJ article defers to so-called experts in the field, namely sex therapists. Although the problem of sex deficit is real, the approach to solving it is ironically killing sex. “We’re experiencing a long-term atrophy of the skills…” says one sex therapist, as if sex is primarily about skills.
One woman, who was interviewed, said that she had to “prioritize sex,” and “recommitted to weekly dates with her husband–no skipping, no matter what.” She proudly said, “Sex is like going to the gym. Sometimes you feel like you don’t want to do it, but you always feel better afterwards.” Sounds highly boring.
The report and the experts appear to be baffled by this data. Yet, many elements could have contributed to this. People’s dependence on computers, as well as their plunge into the virtual world, has rendered them effectively sleepwalkers. Culturally, the relationship between men and women has certainly suffered, especially at the hands of the #MeToo movement, but also political correctness, the rise of ideology, and transgenderism (which inherently denies the sexual difference between men and women).
Dealing with it in such a clinical manner is the wrong path to take because it ends up looking a bit like John Cleese in Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (1983). In one of the skits, Cleese plays a teacher/headmaster of a school, instructing sex education. He asks his wife to join him in the demonstration, and as they’re attempting to engage, Cleese is giving the students a play-by-play of the correct way to have sex. The students are not paying attention–after all, nothing is arousing about what Cleese’s character is doing–and this elicits the headmaster to brusquely say, “I’m doing this for your benefit!”
Bad sex or no sex is rarely about sex, which is why sex therapists are unnecessary. Sure, people need to put down their phones, but the essential component of sex is a verve for life. A person must be oriented toward human greatness and find meaning in life. The meaning will awaken every aspect of life. It is in these moments of reflection that people can recognize eros and its significance.
Sex, which is supposed to be about pleasure and fecundity, has been reduced to sterile and clinical terms. Psychoanalyst and provocateur, Slavoj Žižek, described these problems as “the banality of sex.” He is correct, and suggestions that sex therapists give perpetuate this banality because the advice is rooted not in an encounter with another person but in virtual fantasy, or no fantasy at all–mere torpor and listlessness.
On a similar note, the fact that young people have no desire to drive or own cars is also related to the decline in sex. Cars, which are the symbol of raw power and sex drive, are not something many young men gravitate toward.
We are a society that has been infinitely distracted by fear. Fear invariably stops creation and increases inhibitions. Among many things, sex depends on human vulnerability, and we are far too zombified to feel anything (except full rage), let alone to be vulnerable. People have to step into reality willingly; living through a computer or ideology will only further erode the spirit as well as sex.
