Not So Shocking Headlines

Shocking reactions to typical American news.

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  • 03/02/2023
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NEWS ITEM: Randi Rhodes has resigned from Air America after she had been suspended for a profanity-laced diatribe against Hillary Clinton during a stage appearance.

REACTION: Shocking! I had no idea Air America was still in business.

NEWS ITEM: Wealthy Democrats are preparing a four-month, $40 million media campaign centered on attacks on Sen. John McCain, led by former investigative reporter, David Brock.

REACTION: Finally...hope and change.

NEWS ITEMS: The Wall Street Journal, citing unnamed CBS News executives and people close to Katie Couric, said Wednesday she could leave her job as anchor of the low-rated CBS Evening News well before her contract expires in 2011.

REACTION: I wonder what Dan Rather’s doing?

NEWS ITEM: A Manhattan judge has dismissed portions of a lawsuit Dan Rather has filed against CBS and Viacom. Rather's last months at CBS News were clouded by a disputed story on President Bush's Vietnam-era military service. Rather says his employers made him a "scapegoat" to placate the White House after questions arose about the story.

REACTION: Never mind.

NEWS ITEMS: Barack Obama's campaign accused Hillary Clinton of routinely misleading voters for political gain. The campaign asserted that Clinton had been untruthful about her foreign policy resume, her position on the North American Free Trade Agreement, her involvement in the 1993 passage of the Family and Medical Leave Act.

At a campaign stop at a General Motors Corp. plant in Youngstown, Ohio, Hillary Clinton accused Obama of caving in to special interests. Clinton also accused Obama of supporting "billions of dollars of breaks for the oil industry" by voting for an energy bill she opposed.

REACTION: This Republican attack machine is out of control!

NEWS ITEM: On a dairy farm near Fresno, California, manure is being turned into natural gas for use by Pacific Gas and Electric in what the utility hopes will be a new way to power homes with renewable energy.

REACTION: These presidential debates may have some use after all.

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