Posobiec opened the segment admitting he has, at times, taken drastic measures to secure the most important dish on the table: “I have left the house, gone to the store, purchased the ingredients for pumpkin pie, and made it myself, because there was no pumpkin pie available,” he said. “It is required.”
Kirk didn’t hesitate to agree: “It is like, 100 percent required. The first commandment of Thanksgiving is thou shalt have pumpkin pie. With whipped cream.”
Both insisted pumpkin pie is the foundation, even if other desserts make an appearance. “Other pies can be there,” Posobiec said, “but pumpkin is the only one.”
Kirk, who admitted he actually prefers pecan, added, “However, I must have a slice of pumpkin.”
The trio then shifted to another longstanding argument: is Thanksgiving really a lunch… or a dinner? Kirk declared the correct time as “around 3:30 to 4 pm.… That is the sweet spot.”
Posobiec pushed back: “Thanksgiving dinner, that is way too late.” Neff chimed in with his family tradition: “Maybe 1 to 1:30 pm. It is so early.”
Football, another Thanksgiving staple, sparked its own side debate. The group agreed the TV should be off during the meal, but Kirk called the expansion of games “a desecration,” saying the holiday originally featured only the Lions and the Cowboys. “Then NBC got greedy,” he joked. “They snuck in their own.” They also scanned that year's matchups, noting that Chicago would be facing Detroit. “They’re gonna get annihilated,” Neff said, while Kirk added, “Tickets at Ford Field start at $181… tickets at Jerry’s Stadium are 28 bucks.”
The conversation eventually turned reflective, with Posobiec calling Thanksgiving “one of America’s greatest traditions.” Kirk agreed, emphasizing the holiday’s spiritual foundations. “The pilgrims were definitely giving thanks to God,” he said. “I don’t know another nation that has a day of gratitude.”
Kirk added that gratitude itself is essential: “Happiness is impossible if you’re not grateful… I do not think you can have joy if you’re not grateful.”
Posobiec closed with a nod to Rush Limbaugh, crediting the late broadcaster for keeping the traditional Thanksgiving story alive each year.
“They tried socialism. It failed,” he said. “Then they tried giving people ownership of their plots of land. And then they gave thanks to God. What a concept.”
Kirk would later add that Christmas is a separate ballgame, but that turkey is an absolute must for Thanksgiving, along with dressing, along with “jiggling” cranberries. Kirk was also fond of green beans, though not green bean casserole.
He gave a yea to sweet potatoes, but shot down anything that had marshmallows or marshmallow fluff. Jack brought up corn, which was served at the first Thanksgiving, to which Charlie said that corn has “no redemptive value” but is acceptable on Thanksgiving.
