There's a viral video of a little girl going crazy at Walmart. She rips food off the shelves and stomps on it. She runs her hand behind boxes of dry foods and pushes them onto the floor. She picks up a bottle of sparkling juice out of a crate and smashes it. When she looks around for a reaction and sees adults standing around staring at her, arguing over how to deal with her, she picks up another, then another, and smashes each one. It's not the girl in the video that is so shocking, but the adults standing around the store, calling out instructions to one another, none of them doing anything at all. It's unclear at the outset if there's a parent or guardian of the girl in the store, it's unclear if anyone has been minding her at all. What is clear is that the adults are entirely clueless and not one of them has an ounce of sense between them. If this is the state of not only childhood but adulthood in America, it's no wonder that we've found ourselves in a state where coddling, lying, and upholding fantasy over reality have become the norm.
The adults in this viral Walmart video are not one race, not one gender, but a diverse mix of completely clueless persons who have no idea how to handle a child throwing a total, destructive tantrum. The child, in a pink dress and leggings, braids in her hair, seems surprised that no one is coming to her aid with some control and authority. Each action she commits seems designed to get the adults to do something, to take charge, to provide structure, but their actions—and words–indicate that not only will they not try to stop her, but that they don't think they should try to stop her. The adults don't believe they should stop a child from committing acts of violence and property destruction that could hurt her or themselves. They just let it happen.
"She is tearing this store up!" laments one black woman who, nonetheless, just stands around while the girl takes items out of a deli case, throws them on the floor, and stomps on them. It's easy to draw a parallel between the destructive, petulant girl, the behavior of those watching her act out, and the absurd tantrums of the trans, nonbinary, blue-haired, lip-pierced, screaming BIPOC brigade of Jew-hating abortionists who delight in forcing everyone to witness their woke tirades. As today's children make their identitarian declarations, demanding special treatment based on their fictional gender, neurodivergence, race or ethnicity, the adults just stand around and validate their freakout. That's what one white lady did at Walmart.
"Hey, hey," says a white woman to the other adults as the girl takes another item out of the deli case and smashes it to the ground. "Don't yell at her! Don't yell at her! You don't know what she's been through!" As if in answer, the girl walks over to a shelf and begins throwing more food onto the floor.
We've all seen some hapless kid stage a total meltdown in a Walmart. It's not even an odd occurrence. This one was particularly egregious, but if we're going to be honest about it, we've gotten used to children throwing massive, destructive tantrums where they try to hurt themselves and others. We've gotten used to telling children that their own actions are not their fault but are likely the fault of adults who did them wrong. We've gotten used to adults standing around and doing nothing because they somehow believe that they are at fault in some way; that society is at fault for any freakout the child may have. We've expressed this sentiment publicly with bail reform, with a refusal to hold thieves responsible for their theft, and with allowing children and teens to dictate their preferred treatment like the whims of a sovereign.
That white woman, identified as Amber, spoke to TMZ, saying that the girl reminded her of her own "neurodivergent" child. She said that when the parents finally did show up, some 45 minutes later, they grabbed the girl and rushed out of the store with her. Amber also said that the girl tried to cut herself with the broken glass. She commands all the attention of all the adults, none of whom take any other action than to record her tantrum for viral online broadcast, and they watch her try to hurt herself.
The footage went viral, with social media users making judgey comments about the girl and the adults who were standing around doing nothing. Comments about Amber, the woman who said "Don't yell at her! You don't know what she's been through!" were particularly harsh. Some wondered where the girl learned this kind of behavior from. Others said it's no surprise that American students are shooting up schools. Still others claimed that Amber was a "white savior" who "came in to make excuses" for the girl because of her race. "This is exactly how their entitlement complexes begin," said another, "They aren't held accountable in their formative years."
Of course, this comment is right. But this isn't just some kind of parenting problem, it's a social one. We tell children to be their true selves, then let those true selves be absolutely the worst selves any person could be. And we praise them for it, we make excuses for them. The thing is, at their core, kids don't want to be let loose to be disasters. They want structure so that they have some guidelines on how to exist. We've relativised everything, even the most egregious behavior. And the irony is, it helps no one. Not the children, who are screaming for structure in a world bent on permissiveness, and not the adults who have to live with the aftereffects of that permissiveness.
If authoritarianism does come to America, it will be the grownup version of children like this who usher it in. Having never been told "no," and thus desperate for some authority figure to give structure to the chaotic, permissive void that their life has been since they first became conscious, they will externalize their own chaos. They will project their feelings of being lost and aimless onto America, and seek to exert power over others despite never having seen it modeled by anyone, including the people who love them. Instead of smashing bottles of sparkling juice, they will smash statues, art, and anything else, secure in the knowledge that there will always be an Amber (or more likely, a court-appointed lawyer) to snap at those who seek to hold them accountable, "Don't yell at them; you don't know what they've been through."
What they've been through, however, is being handed the right to exert power without having earned the wisdom to wield it. We've already turned back from people like that politically, but President-elect Trump can't raise our kids. Only we can. And judging by the aisles at Walmart, to do that, America needs to summon considerably more bravery than it takes to cast a secret ballot. Let's hope, for all our sakes (including the children's), that it finds it.
