Hey there, fellow travelers! Today, we're continuing with our audacious advertising campaign in the heart of Texas celebrating woke values. So, let's fasten our seatbelts and enjoy the ride!
Picture this: You're cruising down the Lone Star State's highways, and your eyes are suddenly captivated by a series of billboards lining the roadside. What could be more surprising than finding billboards promoting a woke corporate agenda in the land of cowboy boots and wide-brimmed hats? Enter Southwoke Airlines!
We’re determined to spread our inclusive vibes far and wide to ensure every passerby is aware of our woke corporate policies, much like Bud Light's recent ad with the legendary Dylan Mulvaney, a campaign that cratered sales of the iconic brand.
So why the wokeness? The Bud Light-Dylan Mulvaney fiasco gave us a great idea. Our antiquated reservations and flight scheduling systems can’t keep up with all of our passengers. In January, we were forced to cancel thousands of flights when one of the vacuum tubes in our World War II era ENIAC computer went on the fritz.
We decided then and there, what better way to lose customers than an advertising campaign in Texas that doubles down on wokeness. That’s right, until we get the vacuum tubes replaced on the old ENIAC, we can’t handle the customer load, so we might as well lose customers.
We have a few more AirWoke billboards scheduled in the future to grace the Texas landscape:
"Southwoke Airlines: We fly high with the wokeness, even when our planes are grounded!"
"Mile High Tolerance: Come aboard and experience our sky-high wokeness!"
"Our Jet Engines are Powered by Diversity: No fuel, just mutual respect and understanding!"
"Sit Back, Relax, and Unpack Your Privilege: Our flights are turbulence-free zones!"
"Extra Legroom and Extra Wokeness: Stretch out your legs and broaden your perspectives!"
While these billboards might seem outlandish, they're all in the spirit of losing customers until we can source the vacuum tubes for good ole ENI.
So, next time you find yourself cruising through Texas, keep an eye out for Southwoke billboards, and let your imagination soar higher than the clouds. Safe travels, my friends, and may Dylan Mulvaney always be your copilot!