It’s boring, people

In just about six months, the nation will vote for a president. But if things continue the way they're going, I don't know how I'll make it. The campaign blather is unbelievable. And even worse, it's boring. Tedious. Painfully insipid.
   
Let's start with the phrase "at the end of the day." Overused by pundits and politicians alike, those words are now making my ears bleed. Lights out on this one, please.
   
Then there's the "war on women." It doesn't exist. The left made it up. American women have more opportunity than they would have anywhere else on the planet. Don't believe me? Book passage to China, Japan or even Italy. There is no war on women in the USA, so let's knock off that boring stuff right now.
   
Obama is a Muslim. No, he's not. His children were baptized in a Christian church. If he were a Muslim, the president would be damned just for that. He's not a Muslim, and the folks who think he is are insane.
   
Global warming. It's made Al Gore about $100 million. That's all you need to know. Yes, Earth is getting a little hotter. But it could be a natural cycle; nobody knows except God. I'm fine with buying the $60 light bulbs to save energy because that might help the planet. But I would like those light bulbs to actually shed some light. Moths couldn't find the last ones I bought. Much of the global warming hysteria is a con; almost all of it is boring.
   
Dogs in danger. Mitt Romney tied his canine to the roof of his car and drove him to Canada. Barack Obama ate a Doberman in Indonesia. Can we please stop this? It's so boring, dogs all over the country are howling.
   
Protesting the word "illegal." The loons at MoveOn are posting diatribes by cranks who say if you call an illegal alien an illegal alien, you are committing a "hate crime." I am not making this up. This is not only amazingly tedious; it is also confusing illegal aliens, who are demanding to know what exactly their status is.
   
Medical marijuana. Mellow out. This is a huge con, and everybody knows it. In states that have legalized pot for medicinal purposes, all you have to do is tell a doctor you feel anxious and your nose hurts. You then pay the doc a couple of hundred bucks, and he writes you a script for the pot. Cheech and Chong wrote this law, and it's boring.
   
Occupy Wall Street. It's over. We don't want to live in Cuba. Go home. Shut up.
   
So there you have it, from the heart. The two presidential candidates are boring enough. They don't need any help from us. So let's all band together and stop the tedium. Do it for your country.