Hollywood & Slime: Celebs Aren’t Letting Us Down as the Holidays Approach

The holiday season is underway, funseekers, and our celebs are not letting us down.

Priceless TV moment of the week goes yet again to Stephen Colbert’s “Nutcracker” turn, doing his best corporate pas de deux in business suitcoat, tie and tights.  The ballerina he artfully lifts is Hee Seo of the American Ballet Theatre. Her real partner, David Hallberg, engaged in a dance-off of sorts with the TV pundit, who looks damn good in a pair of tights. Check out the action here:

Speaking of holiday vids. Bang your big-haired Elf-lovin’ heads to this little Christmas extravaganza from somewhere in the burbs. Slayer. Who wouldn’t? Hope the neighbors are pissed.

Giuliana Rancic, E! News goddess and fashionista talking head, is having a double mastectomy after a recent lumpectomy failed to remove her breast cancer. Kudos to this Chevy Chase, Md. babe and University of Maryland alum for putting herself out there and encouraging other women to seek treatment. #usingcelebrityforgood  #getwellsoongirl

In Santa’s naughty column for sure: Alec Baldwin, who has trouble tucking his ego into an aircraft and flying what he has Tweeted as the not-so-friendly skies. Mr. Baldwin, who got into it with our all-time favor carrier, American Airlines, over using his smartphone to play a game while the plane was in taxi, was right on one accord – air travel in America has become WORSE than Greyhound. Lotsa greasy-food-eating, sweatpants-wearing folks jammed like overstuff sardines into a giant germtube – and treated like pigs, too. Remember when people dressed up to travel and it was a dignified pleasure? Sigh. We are a nation of underdressed, overfed, mannerless slime.

Lotsa drama on America’s Got Talent this week. Nicole Scherzinger in the hotseat.  Love it! But fans have been blasting the pop singer for ousting 13-year-old sensation, the adorable and muy talented Rachel Crow, whose faith and composure after her loss is wise beyond her years. What grace: “It's no one's fault. It's not even America's fault. It's no one person's fault,” Crow told PEOPLE magazine. “It's just what God had in store for me. And I will be okay."

Is America a great place or what? The Pole Fitness Association is lobbying to get pole dancing into the 2012 Olympic Games in London. Yes, we know what you’re thinking. This sort of art form is usually reserved for gentlemen callers in Vegas and at places like Scores – ahem, we’ve heard – but proponents of the “vertical dancing” tout its athleticism over its showgirl eroticism, and are gathering petition signatures designed to sway the IOC. Probably a whole lotta lap dances would be better. Just sayin...

While it's likely too late to get into the 2012 lineup, the pole fitness petition boasts over 6,000 signatures. It's worth noting that women's boxing got the IOC approval after petitioning the committee and that sport is not immune to sex-appeal controversy. Right now, organizers are deciding whether female boxers will make their Olympic debut in miniskirts.

The ever ego-less Kanye West says he wants world leaders at his funeral.  Raise your hands, boys and girls, if you’d rather this talented but arrogant musical star just shut up and sing. Or rap. Or whatever he does. #sooverhim

No you did-unt Gene Simmons, slamming our queen, Madonna, over what is certain to be a fabulous Super Bowl performance.  "I love all karaoke singers, I love all the girl singers who get up and sing with tapes ... shame on you!" said this KISS legend to TMZ cameras. Lumps of Coal, rock boy. And a jar of giant gag-me tongue depressors, too.

Every time we see that new Rick Perry ad with the truly dreadful fashion – WHO dressed him for that? – we ponder the humor of turning off the sound and playing this in the background

And you thought the “Guido” stereotypes lobbed in Jersey Shore were bad. Check out this map.