Christmas is less than a month away, funseekers, so in the spirit of hacking off at work and cyber-daydreaming over some fab present—just Elf Yourself.
Speaking of gifts that keep on giving... Is America a great place or what? A drive-thru, no less.
Country fans are in a snit because Cinderella darling Taylor Swift, she of the angst-filled, sorority-sophomore lyrics, got stiffed by Grammy voters. We are not in that camp. Ick. Lovely, however, to see veteran songwriter and bonafide hill girl Matraca Berg earn a Grammy nod for penning (with Deana Carter) “You and Tequila”—a great song.
Hey, Bing Crosby. Screw that White Christmas. … We need more Frosty Cowbell.
Is it just us, or do you find it a shady coincidence that some of the, ahem, ladies, who have stepped up to accuse Herman Cain of impropriety are predominantly fiscal deadbeats? Wonder how much they’ve been paid off? Wonder WHO paid them? Just sayin' …
We think that GOP presidential primary front-runner Newt—amazing as that description sounds now—would be a fine match against Obama in a real head-to-head debate—and not some talking-head-asks-goony-canned-questions event. That’s profitable pay-per-view territory, dontchathink? Way better than Pacquaio-Mayweather. #wonktv.
And this year’s Junior Slut in Training Award—or as we like to call it, the Britney Spears Cup—goes to … “Stoner” Miley Cyrus, 19, who sarcastically brags online about her OTC weed use. Man, if she can only hold on for another year to beat the teen pregnancy rap. Fingers crossed! #snoopdoggmustbelaughing.
Speaking of pregnancy, there ought to be a law against this. Suicide attempts, jail, rehab, lost custody—now twins. Sigh. #forcedbirthcontrolforirresponsiblebimbos.
That spooky, Mohawk-sporting semi-chick in The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trailer scares us. Et vous? She’s like Gollum with a better haircut.
The blogosphere is reverberating with conservative faux-pundit Stephen Colbert’s deft takedown of CNN’s flip layoffs of 50 photographers and editors in favor of untrained “iReporters”—an obscene diminishment of journalistic professionalism. Talk about loss of credibility—posting insipid news done by random people with no training. See my pet goat? Now THAT’s news. Those thoughtful CNN execs should just get it over with and hire monkeys to run the control room and bouncy third-shifters from Club Cheetah to take over anchor shifts. Check out Colbert’s choice rant.
Sometimes real people get it right. The classic Charlie Brown special beat Lady Gaga hands down in Thanksgiving TV ratings. #littlemonsterthis.
In other important news: Michele Bachmann may be losing support at the political polls but her hair is getting better—and less helmet-like—the longer the campaign goes on. And no. Donald Trump would never be her or any other candidate’s veep. Could anyone see him as a No. 2?
If we were Mittens and “reevaluating” our media strategy, we might be nicer and less crusty to Fox good guy Bret Baier. Roll with the criticism, dude. Humorless and hot is a bad look. The questions are gonna be asked again and again. Laugh and divert.
What will your $35,800- per-person donation to an Obama fund-raiser dinner get ya? NYC’s Gotham Bar and Grill this week served beet salad, dry aged steak with carrots and Vidalia onion rings along with apple strudel and chocolate pecan pie. Wonder how many of those high-rolling political schmoozers even ate?
Couldn’t those Occupy Wall Street kids camp out in front of Fannie and Freddie? It’d seem more appropriate, given the recent news of bonuses and a fancy conference in Chicago. The OWS ought to rethink strategy and target folks who deserve their hippie ire.
Jilted reality TV spouse Kris Humphries has rightly asked for an annulment, rather than a divorce, from 72-day turbo-bride Kim Kardashian. In his petition, the pro hoops star cites “fraud.” Ya think? Speaking of spouses: Ashton Kutcher, dropped by his own muy turbo cougar wife Demi Moore over his infidelities, was spotted partying with college girls in his home state of Iowa over the recent holidays. How is this guy famous? Grim. Just grim. #teamdemi.
It ain’t Rudolph, but one of our longtime favorite Shakesperean stories—and one outside of those they force you to read in high school English lit—is the war fable of Caius Martius Coriolanus, now gracing the silver screen in a modern film adaptation directed by and starring Ralph Fiennes. If you like the Bard and the hotness that is co-star Gerard Butler, this is the flick for you.
Lotsa posts from galpals who watched the recent Victoria’s Secret fashion show. “Not eating again for a decade,” said one. Our response? Have a cheeseburger. It’s good genetics.
A pal sent up this blast from the past from a good period for "SNL"—Frank Gannon, P.I. P.I.
And finally—Neil Diamond is touring. You've all been warned.
