We’re starting a new election cycle pickup band called Michele Bachmann-Turner Overdrive. Our first song: “Takin’ Care of Business—With Hairspray.” Mebbe fellow presidential contender Thad McCotter will play lead guitar. That is, if Ted Nugent says no. Just download some vintage Amboy Dukes this weekend, and tell us gun-lovin’ Ted can’t rock it hard. His stuff still holds up. Fang and Claw, y’all.
We like Snakehead James Carville, not only because he’s married to that thinking-girl's goddess Mary Matalin, but also because he’s never afraid to cop to the truth, unlike some other slithering punditry. Witness his most recent Obama blast, which seemed pretty much spot-on: Panic, he told the President, and clean house within your inside ranks, because what you are doing ain’t working. That pretty much sums it up in an urgent and plain-spoken way. “We are far past sending out talking points,” Carville writes in a CNN op-ed. “Do not attempt to dumb it down. We cannot stand any more explanations. Have you talked to any Democratic senators lately? I have. It's pretty damn clear they are not happy campers.”
A trio of delicious Palin items this week: Do we describe interracial dating, in 2011 no less, as a “fetish?” Seriously? Apparently, some people like author Joe McGinniss do. In his new book, The Rogue: Searching for Sarah Palin, McGinniss tries like a high school gossip to stir the waters for Palin, whose personal life has already been dissected with a fine-tooth comb. Even after moving in beside her in Wasilla, Alaska, to dig up the skeletons firsthand, all McGinniss can come up with is that she and then-boyfriend Todd Palin allegedly liked to party during their college days—didn’t we all—and Sarah had an alleged fling with a black professional basketball player. Ooh, now that’s trashy. Dare we use the “R” word here? We do—racist. Even New York Times High Priestess Janet Maslin took McGinniss to task in her review, calling the book self-absorbed, and in essence, just plain ridic.
Speaking of dumb and Alaska, Levi Johnston, father of Bristol Palin’s son, is back chasing the publicity train. His new book, Deer in the Headlights, which seems entirely apt if you add “Ill-mannered” to the front of it, suggests that Sarah Palin’s oldest daughter competed with her mom over bearing a child, among other moments of TMI. This one, like the McGinniss book, should also be excerpted in the National Enquirer. Memo to Levi: Shut up already. Go to college. Have some surgery to lift your dragging knuckles off the floor. (Cue gorilla noises here.)
Wyclef Jean is a fierce personal promoter in his own right. Not only does the former Fugees frontman want to lead his native Haiti, he’s also got big love for … who knew ... Sarah Palin, according to reports in Women’s Wear Daily, which caught the music man opining politically during New York Fashion Week. “I have to tell you this: I am a huge fan of Sarah Palin. Cause she’s rad. She’s shrewd. She’s cool. Because at the end of the day, I’m for the people, because this is the United States of America ... this is what America’s really about. Anyone should have the right to say, ‘Look I can do the job, and this is what qualifies me to do the job.’ ” Maybe she can get him a bunk on her tour bus. Goat curry, anyone?
Holy headbanging love affair, Batman! White House gate-crasher and natural blonde Michaele Salahi ran off from her husband for the love of an '80s rock star. It seems the better half of this publicity-seeking Virginia couple has found comfort in the arms of Journey guitarist Neal Schon. Could this be a reality show stunt? Or is it real “Don’t Stop Believin’" love? One thing is for sure: It’s keeping these people in the news, yet again. OY. Read our fave Diane Dimond’s great coverage here.
Random announcements: Nude pix of A-list film star Scarlett Johansson are now circulating online—happy surfing—and Beatle Paul McCartney is taking another stab at marriage—all you need is love (and a rock-solid pre-nup, no doubt). "Dancing With the Stars" star and TV actress Kirstie Alley is finally size-4 skinny. Alert the media. She looks great. And could someone get another memo out to celebs 'round the globe that naked photos on your cell phone remains a truly bad idea. Calling the FBI? Stop wasting our tax dollars with your narcissistic stupidity. Sigh.
In the wake of the viral phenom that was the Honey Badger—don’t care—comes this week’s online geriatric sensation. Is the Internet a great place, or what? A must-watch:
