Fashion Mags Should Stick to Fluff

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  • 03/02/2023

It is very hard for me not to buy fashion magazines. I love the glossy pages. I like the make-up tips. I even like to catch up on the celebrity gossip.

But, I detest the blatant liberal bent women’s magazines have and their subtle ways of convincing women that daddy government should always take care of them.

For all of these reasons I bought the latest issue of Marie Claire that contained an article decrying the supposed misplaced priorities of society partly evidenced by the fact a woman could purchase a gun faster than acquiring a restraining order. (I usually try to confine my reading to grocery store lines or moseying through Barnes and Noble so they don’t get my money).

This was supposed to be outrageous. I immediately took it home to roommate, who happens to go by AK and authored a column titled AK’s Rapid Fire while in college. We applauded the fact that guns were more accessible than a piece of paper to protect women.

I thumbed through the rest of the article and read about the other alleged moral outrages. Marie Claire told me it’s easier to get heroin than emergency contraceptive pills. EC, of course, has long been subject to political controversy and require a doctor’s screening. If taken too late it could seriously damage a child. Heroin is sold on the street by criminals. Marie Claire found a dealer and blamed the Catholic Church for not giving her EC fix as fast.

Marie Claire then wondered what was easier to get: a mammogram or breast implants? She couldn’t get a mammogram for six months, but easily got a consultation to get bigger breasts. She criticized the healthcare system because her HMO couldn’t give her services as fast as a private, cosmetic surgeon could.

She also tried to find out if it was easier to get directions to build a bomb or the recipe for Big Mac sauce. It never occurred to Ms. Claire that terrorists aren’t interested getting a patent for their formulas of blowing up people.

It also never occurred to Ms. Claire that the key difference between her items was simply whether one was controlled by the government or not. You want the government to keep women safe from stalkers? Here, have a piece of paper. You want better healthcare? Ask Hillary.

Fashion magazines are good for fashion. They are excellent for celebrity fluff and are useful in helping me select a high-powered sunscreen and bikini for the summer.  But leave it at that, Ms. Claire. You clearly can’t help me with politics.

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