Cuffing season, defined by Merriam-Webster as the period from October through Valentine’s Day when singles start scrambling for short-term partnerships to “survive” the holidays, has become more than a tongue-in-cheek trend. It’s a culture of treating human beings like seasonal accessories.
Even pop culture reflects it. Taylor Swift’s “’Tis the Damn Season” is basically the cuffing anthem: “you can call me babe for the weekend.” That’s what we are being sold—a cute little temporary fling you'll shelf once it gets warmer. Advertisements for “romantic strolls under Christmas lights” or a “holiday dinner for two” make it feel like the season has a mandatory plus-one requirement.
For women, the pressure of the ticking biological clock can feel overwhelming. The fear of waiting too long, missing out on the right love, or wasting precious childbearing years pushes us to accept any affection — even when it’s fleeting or unhealthy. This pressure, once mostly from men, now detonates during cuffing season, fueled by social media, Hallmark movies, and even your own mom hinting at “bringing someone home this year.”
A study from the Maven Clinic found that four in five women experience fertility-related anxiety, and Kelsea Ballerini echoed that fear at the CMAs when she performed “I Sit in Parks,” a song from her new EP wrestling with choosing career over motherhood and wondering if she “missed her time.” It’s a universal ache — and cuffing season preys on it.
Writer Anggun Bawi summed it perfectly on her Substack: “Cuffing season is real, and if you aren’t being careful, it can cost you a lot that you’ll spend the next summer crying over your situationship.” And she’s right — there is psychology behind it. Cold weather causes our bodies to crave warmth and connection.
But here’s the twist: the actual mental health professionals aren’t telling women to find a filler-boyfriend. Every resource geared toward managing holiday loneliness emphasizes the same: self-care, setting boundaries, and building your support network. They’re essentially saying the healthiest thing you can do in cuffing season… is sit it out.
What pushes women into this cycle isn’t just loneliness — it’s the fear of missing out. It’s the promise of hookup culture: anything is better than being alone. It’s being told “it’s just biology.” And now, the entire cultural machine convinces you that the holidays are incomplete without someone to kiss under the lights.
And that is how you wind up with a seasonal band-aid — someone who looks cute in photos but disappears when the decorations are put back in storage. The lights go down, along with the feelings.
But here’s the thing no one tells you about cuffing season: these years with your family and your closest friends are limited. If you do hope to partner someday, you’ll eventually be building and investing in their traditions, attending their family gatherings, splitting holidays, navigating schedules, and pouring into a relationship that deserves real time and attention. That’s a beautiful season — but it means these years right now, the ones where you can fully sink into your own family’s rituals, laugh with your lifelong friends, and end the year grounded in the people who already love you, are precious. Why waste them entertaining a short-term “holiday boyfriend” who won’t even make it to Presidents’ Day? This is the time to be present with the people who will still be in your life long after the cuffing-season romance disappears.
Modern dating is obsessed with immediate gratification, but healthy relationships are built slowly. Building a healthy relationship starts with understanding your partner deeply — what the Gottman Method calls “love maps.” It means getting to know their world, their thoughts, and their feelings —not just sharing cute holiday pictures.
Last December, there was a trend of single women sending out end-of-year cards celebrating personal accomplishments. It was cute, confident, and a reminder that you are allowed to take up space without a plus-one. This year, “Friendship Fall,” a movement that prioritizes platonic connections over seasonal romance, has been gaining traction. This shift reminds us that the holidays can be about cherishing friendships and family, not rushing into fleeting relationships.
Because here’s the truth: the holidays are for reflection, tradition, and family. One day, if you do hope to have a family of your own, you’ll want to remember these years — the last ones of your childhood traditions — not look back and realize you wasted them entertaining temporary men you don’t even call anymore.
