When I became a parent to my three children, I was a surgical resident, early in my career as a plastic surgeon. I took a pretty laid back approach to their schooling. Initially, I had them in a public school, but after getting my show on Netflix, I moved them to a private Jewish school. I felt that they would be safely guarded in this school and learn values such as the importance of God and groundedness.
I enrolled all of my children in the same Jewish school, and I was satisfied with the education they were receiving. My children were proud Jews. They were sweet and kind. They loved learning.
Then, one day, when my middle child, my son, was in the eighth grade, he came home with a book called “Perfect Chemistry.” His teachers had told him it was like a modern-day “Romeo and Juliet,” and they were reading both together to understand the Shakespeare classic better.
Since I’d never heard of “Perfect Chemistry,” I decided to see what it was about. It was a novel with a boy and girl on the cover about to passionately make out with one another. The description of the book talks about how a good girl likes a bad boy. Inside of the book, there were graphic sex scenes, drugs, and profanity. I thought: Why was this book given to my 12-year-old child, especially when he goes to a religious school?
I asked my eldest daughter, then in the ninth grade, if she had read this book too. She said that she had and she didn't tell me at the time, but she and her friends got together after that assignment was finished and actually destroyed the books because they felt the contents were evil and wrong.
Other parents were taking notice too, so we decided to contact the school. The librarian defended the title, and it was kept on the school’s syllabus for that year. I couldn’t believe it. I told my son to read “Romeo and Juliet,” but not “Perfect Chemistry.” If he got into trouble, I’d stand up for him.
The school was still teaching “Perfect Chemistry” to the middle schoolers. However, when more parents found out, they became more insistent with their pushback, and the book was finally removed from the syllabus.
I have nothing against romance novels and coming-of-age stories, but kids should not be exposed to certain topics, such as explicit sexual content, pedophilia, and incest. We have to keep our children's education age-appropriate. Everything in its due time; everything at the appropriate time.
When parents question graphic sexual texts at a religious school – or any school – they should be listened to. They are the ones who get to determine when their children learn about these sensitive and mature subjects, not the teachers or the school librarian.
In the past, I was a mother who only got involved if my children were falling behind or needed help. I was hands off when it came to their education or learning experiences. Not anymore. Now, I hope that other mothers will learn from my naivete.
As mothers, we have to be vigilant about what our children are learning in school. I thought that because my kids were in a conservative, religious environment, they would be safe from all this nonsense.
But as I saw, unscrupulous material is seeping into all of our institutions. No child is safe. Concepts they should not learn about at such a young age are in the books they read at school, on the TV, and on their smartphones.
Taking away books, TVs, and smartphones is an almost impossible solution. Instead, mothers have to monitor everything their children see and learn. Review what your child is watching on TV. Monitor their phones and Google searches. And ask your kids what they are talking about in class and reading in school. Ask the other parents what they know. And most importantly, talk to your kids about it.
Today, we don’t have the luxury of trusting what children are being taught in schools. It’s sad. School shouldn’t be a place where they push politics and ideologies. Schools should be where kids learn how to think, not what to think.
But that’s the reality. As mothers, it’s our number one job to protect our children. We can’t go on autopilot, even when it seems safe.
I urge you: Be vigilant about your children’s schooling, and don’t be afraid to stand up for what’s right. It may be uncomfortable and challenging, but it’s necessary and crucial.
