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Vote fraud alert: Obama scores big among North Carolina vampires

The defenders of vote fraud are always telling us that common-sense voter-ID measures are unnecessary, because vote fraud hardly ever happens.  That means Barack Obama must be huge among the vampire population of North Carolina, as Edward Cullen and his contemporaries have been mailing in their absentee ballots, producing at least 832 votes from people over 110 years old.

According to the Examinerfully 70 percent of these immortals voted Democrat.  20 percent were Republican, while only 5 percent were independent.  That makes sense, actually.  Vampires are set in their ways.  Most of them were probably turned during the New Deal era.

The oldest living human being, who dwells in Japan, is 114 years old.  That venerable soul doesn’t travel much, but two of the 110+ votes in North Carolina were submitted from overseas.  Maybe they went to attend an audience with the Volturi.

An amazing 2,374 civic-minded seniors between the ages of 94 and 100 have already voted in North Carolina.  Apparently, some of them are so civic-minded that they voted more than once.  The Examiner relays a tip from a concerned voter:

I overheard a nice lady about 70 telling her friend the following: “Yes, I voted today.”

“Going back tomorrow too.”

“They took us to a place that don’t ask names and don’t write nothing down. They give $20 each time.”

She then handed her friend a card I couldn’t see and told her friend to call the number.

Instead of $20 bills, they’re probably giving bags of O-positive to the vampires.

 

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archive

Vote fraud alert: Obama scores big among North Carolina vampires

The defenders of vote fraud are always telling us that common-sense voter-ID measures are unnecessary, because vote fraud hardly ever happens.  That means Barack Obama must be huge among the vampire population of North Carolina, as Edward Cullen and his contemporaries have been mailing in their absentee ballots, producing at least 832 votes from people over 110 years old.

According to the Examinerfully 70 percent of these immortals voted Democrat.  20 percent were Republican, while only 5 percent were independent.  That makes sense, actually.  Vampires are set in their ways.  Most of them were probably turned during the New Deal era.

The oldest living human being, who dwells in Japan, is 114 years old.  That venerable soul doesn’t travel much, but two of the 110+ votes in North Carolina were submitted from overseas.  Maybe they went to attend an audience with the Volturi.

An amazing 2,374 civic-minded seniors between the ages of 94 and 100 have already voted in North Carolina.  Apparently, some of them are so civic-minded that they voted more than once.  The Examiner relays a tip from a concerned voter:

I overheard a nice lady about 70 telling her friend the following: “Yes, I voted today.”

“Going back tomorrow too.”

“They took us to a place that don’t ask names and don’t write nothing down. They give $20 each time.”

She then handed her friend a card I couldn’t see and told her friend to call the number.

Instead of $20 bills, they’re probably giving bags of O-positive to the vampires.

 

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Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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