History's most successful con artist gets a new girlfriend

Wonderful news: the Washington Post reports that the most successful con artist in history, Albert Arnold Gore Jr., has a new girlfriend.

Her name is Elizabeth Keadle — better known as Liz — a well-heeled Democratic donor from Southern California in her 50s with a background in science and a devotion to environmental causes.

The relationship is solid enough that she accompanied Gore, 64, and an eclectic group of experts and VIPs (Richard Branson, singer Jason Mraz, actor Tommy Lee Jones) on a trip to Antarctica in January to raise awareness of climate change.

[…] It’s been nearly two years since Al and Tipper Gore shocked the public — and many of their own friends — with the announcement that they had separated after 40 years of marriage, “a mutual and mutually supportive decision that we have made together following a process of long and careful consideration,” they said at the time. Sources close to the couple have since said that they simply grew apart after his bitter 2000 presidential loss, as he became a globe-trotting environmental activist and she focused on her energies on mental-health advocacy and a sideline in photography.

Gore and Keadle both belong to a bizarre religious cult that believes sinful human activity causes the very temperature of the air and water to rise.  Later, embarrassed by mountains of hard scientific proof that no such thing was happening, the cult modified its teachings to say that human sin causes the temperature to “change.”  Exhaustive studies, which the cult hoped would provide evidence to fuel its doomsday prophecies, actually proved the average global temperature hadn’t really changed all that much over the last century, either.  In fact, it changed less than even critics of the cult’s extremist views thought it might have.

The cult forged ahead, undaunted, convinced that the Angry Sky Gods would rain terrible punishment upon mankind for its sins any day now.  Curiously, cult leaders like Gore actually believe they can sell the equivalent of “papal indulgences” from these sins.  Gore personally made a gigantic fortune doing so. 

It seems a core tenet of cult teaching is that the Angry Sky Gods can be persuaded to spare select, special people from their wrath.  Actually, they’re prepared to ignore the activities of entire nations, while the very same activity is unspeakable sacrilege when performed by those who live in different places.  It’s all very complicated.

You have contributed an enormous sum of money to this cult.  You had no choice in the matter – the money was taken from you by compulsive government force.  Gore is a high priest in the official religion of the United States government, and even those who are not active cult members find it convenient to leverage the cult’s secular power for their benefit.  Cult teachings have been presented to your children in public schools, without criticism, and permeate popular culture.

How much money have you been compelled to spend on this fringe, extremist religion?  Coincidentally, Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) presented a Congressional Research Service report on that very topic on the floor of the Senate just this week.  The military was looted for about $8 billion, while over the past four years, under the leadership of President Barack Obama, the government has spent a total of $68.4 billion in accordance with the teachings of a religion most Americans do not belong to, and a growing number actively oppose.

So, enjoy Al Gore’s new diamond-studded whirlwind celebrity romance, America!  You paid for it.