Clad in winter cuteness and writing from our Western news chalet at Sundance this week ...
Remember kids, no matter who wins South Carolina—or how ugly it gets in the days ahead—Johnny Depp is back on the market. #theimportantstuff.
We like originals, people who defy category, who stand alone with presence and gift. One was Etta James, the singer, who died Friday at 73 of leukemia. We dug this line from her bio: "I wanted to be rare, I wanted to be noticed, I wanted to be exotic as a Cotton Club chorus girl, and I wanted to be obvious as the most flamboyant hooker on the street. I just wanted to be."
The farcical new political pairing of Colbert-Cain is much as interesting as any of the others—we 
are suffering from primary fatigue. As the GOP debates COME MERCIFCULLY TO AN END—we saw lotsa petty drama, lotsa media sniping whilst avoiding lotsa real and important issues. We will say one thing: The primary season will be a bona fide snoozefest, and a darned flatline if Newt takes an exit. At least his acid makes it interesting. Once the Florida primary is in the rear-view, we’re dialing over to "American Idol" for good.
Could CNN’s smart but dry John King be the older, more humorless brother of A-lister Anderson Cooper? Both are geek cute, and dare we say both could lighten it up a notch. #separatedatbirth.
The Hollywood Foreign Press Association does a good job with its Golden Globes. The awards? Usually totally meaningless. The fashion, however, far sassier than the Oscars. Our short-takes: Angelina Jolie (fresh from her D.C. froth) was perfection in Atelier Versace. Jessica
Lange, a winner and a hot mess missing proper foundation garments in a black Zac Posen frock—channeling her inner Blanche Dubois. Jane Fonda: perfect body at 74 and looking every inch an age-appropriate star. And that enigma, Charlize Theron (talented, hard to warm up to),
stunning in blush-pink Dior. When you see her, you realize how much you got cheated in the gene lottery. Host Ricky Gervais, seemingly neutered, sanitized, sadly. Oh, and Madonna 1, Elton John, 0. Super Bowl halftime on top for all y’all Madge fans. Stay tuned.
We won’t comment except to share and say, hey funkseekers, take a read on this.
“What’s wrong with America is not people … it’s politics.” Texas Gov. Rick Perry, in exiting the presidential stage. Boy do have a point. In most cases, minus the influence-peddling of big money, real PEOPLE do tend to get it right.
Just when those winter blues were starting to weigh you down comes this promising news about a viral Internet star-in the-making. There could be a Honey Badger TV show. Randall, the swish narrator, has been noticed by the airwave gods, who thankfully, DO CARE, DO GIVE A … . We look forward to this nasty take on his wack National Geo-esque animal footage. You can read more about it here.
Because we’re a solid Type A and really can’t plan enough.
When the candidates get all uppity as they try to out-social-conservative one another, we turn to this video rant to moderate our journo chi. Ah, the lingering wisdom of Julia Sugarbaker. “When people with power get good sense …”
This week’s book-hawking visitor to "The Colbert Report" was former Michigan Gov. Jennifer Granholm. Dressed in her best Pat Summitt for Talbots pantsuit, gamine, gender-neutral coif in place, the Canadian-born Mitten State liberal—now a Berkeley prof, natch—defended President Obama for saving Michigan. “There’s a dark secret that prevents you from being President. Tell the people,” Colbert admonished. “That I was on the 'Dating Game'?” offered Granholm, deflecting the politics. (He was talking about her citizenship.) Dark humor aside, it’s clear that in advance of her jockeying for a second-term cabinet appointment in the Obama White House, she’s out to be one of the President’s key surrogates in campaign 2012. Her take on native son Mitt Romney’s stalwart stand on the federal auto bailouts: “While we were on our knees, he stabbed us in the back,” she says of Romney’s editorial to “let them fail.”
A hat-tip to the Colbert writers: “President Obama is going to speak at Disney World. He’s cutting all funding to Space Mountain.”
A dog found body parts this week near the Hollywood sign. It’s a sad and untimely setup for awards season, when Tinseltown is all aglow. Oscar nominations are announced Jan. 24. Lotsa wild cards this year. Worth watching. Mebbe.
Mea culpa from Marky Mark. After Walberg’s brash and self-aggrandizing post-9-11 remarks that he could have saved the aircraft (he was supposed to be on Flight 93) from terrorist hijackers, the hunky actor took a step back this week and apologized to families for running his celebrity cakehole, calling his comments a decade ago “ridiculous.” The timing is a little late, but we’ll take the humility anyway. We must all learn from our mistakes. We must.
Speaking of terrorists: So our “prisoner” enemy combatants housed at the Guantanamo Ritz now have the type of reading privileges that allow them magazines about jihad? Who’s in charge of getting the mail down there? How many subscriptions of O are they getting? Or better yet: WTH are we doing down there anyway? Answers, please. Soon there will be a swimming pool and tanning butler. Maybe we could get an all-inclusive Spring Break discount. Sigh.
