An earthquake rattles D.C. Then a hurricane is set to splash up the Beltway coastline. All we need now are Charleton Heston riding forth on the clouds in a designer toga and a bunch of screeching locusts raining down upon the Mall. Coincidence, these natural occurrences? We think not. Somebody big has got to be angry. Big stuff to be angry about. Heed the foreshadowing, political heathens.
Speaking of storms: Where are we gonna get all that FEMA money that we’ll certainly need to fix the damage from Irene? If we cut the size of the federal government by say 20%, there would be a good chunk we could use. #bigideas #lessfeds.
Whilst hunkered down in the suburban news lair this weekend, wallpapering our doomsday shelter and hoarding back issues of Italian Vogue, we’ll be all over Big Daddy Dick Cheney’s new book. If you’re wonkalicious, this is gonna be nearly as juicy as the new Ice-T tome. The veep of few words seems to have saved a few for the book sales. Deliciousness, even if many of you will be reading by flashlight. Cheney is kind of the honey badger of the Bushie administration, no?
You’ve all seen it before, but here it is again for your storm-weekend viewing pleasure (and yes, the T-shirts are totally hot):
Speaking of Kim K., what’s the over-under on her baby-faced hoops hubby leaving her within a year, chiefly because he can’t stand the publicity-whoring in that household?
We’re going with a split within eight months, barring the advent of a celebuspawn—whose birth will no doubt be filmed and sold. Also: what gives with the Arabian Nights headband with the princess bridal dress? It definitely competed with those dangling earrings, much as we’d hoped for something a little more clean. At least she put her hair up. There’s that.
A survey last week offered a list of the Top 10 must unpopular celebrities. Film star Mel Gibson was No. 8 with an unfavorability rating of 33% and Donald Trump was No. 9 with a rating of 31%. While political figures were omitted in the
poll, with President Obama’s own favorability rating dropping to a dismal 32% last week, he seems bookmarked here in the public opinion abyss with some pretty fine company. Others on the bad list were Paris Hilton and a not-so-surprising Charlie Sheen. Most favorite and trustworthy? Senior TV star Betty White, follwed by Denzel Washington and Sandra Bullock.
Saddest moment of the week: Steve Jobs announcing he’ll step down at Apple. What a visionary, and what will happen without his iGuidance? You can turn your company over to able business management, but you can’t fake genius ideas. We so love our Mac products. We haven’t used a PC since 1993.
Bangs. For fall. With a lot of boho. We’re going for a look that is more Los Feliz than Bethesda. Blue suits and bobs are for boring people. #stevienickswannabe.
Lotsa great tweets this week from folk bemoaning the loss of Gaddafi and his mad unisex fashion sense. Nobody wore “I’m a kookshow dictator without a waistline” so well! With Arafat gone and only Ahmadinejad’s Member’s Only jackets to pick on, there’s a vacuum in the global sartorial cosmos that must be soon filled.
We had to laugh at the reports trotted out by the global press about no illegal drugs found in Amy Winehouse’s system when she died. Nobody mentioned a word about legal drugs—and how poorly they mix with alcohol. Just a theory. Just speculation. We loved her voice a lot.
Remember funseekers: Chanel makes Wellies, so if you need to make a fashion statement even in a hurricane or flood, there’s a shoe for you.
