A volcano in Iceland erupted this week causing up to 300,000 tons of CO2 to enter the atmosphere. To put things in perspective, the only thing known to emit more than 300,000 tons of noxious gas in a single day is Barney Frank.
Seismologists blamed it on tectonic plates, geologists blamed it on a build-up of heat at the earth’s core while Democrats blamed it on George Bush.
There’s good news and bad news involving the Evjafjallajokull volcano. The good news is they expect the air to clear in only a day or two. The bad news is that, in Iceland, a day lasts six months.
Economists say that Evjafjallajokull is costing over a billion dollars a day. Most of that is from people trying to buy a vowel.
Astronauts reported that, from space, they could see a formation that looked exactly like the famous painting, “The Scream.” After further investigation, however, it turned out it was just Al Gore.
A new poll suggests that four out of five Americans don’t trust the government while the other 20% don’t trust polls.
The “Cannabis Expo” took place in California this week, causing flights to be cancelled throughout Europe and Asia.
The exhibitors have a very creative way of making money. Tickets are free…but hot dogs are $50 each.
And talk now is that the doormen in New York City may go on strike as early as next week, meaning that New York City debutantes will be unable to get out of their buildings until the strike is over.
Senior Iranian cleric, Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi said that the recent earthquakes have been caused by promiscuous women. I guess that’s what guys mean when they say some woman “rocked my world.”
There go plans for Tehran’s first “topless joint.” You know, no veils.
Citibank has reported a $ 4.4 billion profit. And that’s just from my credit cards.
And, finally, asked about her secret for success, Oprah finally admitted that she was simply “too big to fail."
