Say What, Professor?

Warning! Liberals and multiculturalists should refrain from reading the following article as it could result in sudden heart failure or stroke.

Professors in Minnesota could soon be required to leave their accents at the door.

State lawmakers are considering a bill that would require undergraduate teachers who wish to preside over a classroom to speak "plain, unaccented" English.

Representative Bud Heidgerken (R-Freeport), a former teacher, tells the Associated Press, "I’ve had many students say they dropped a course or delayed graduation for a semester because they couldn’t get around this one professor they couldn’t understand."

But Travis Reindl, director of state policy analysis with the American Association of State Colleges and Universities, is troubled by the proposed law.

"If we start sending a message here that if you can’t speak the king’s English flawlessly, we don’t want you in our classrooms, that sends a message that the U.S. is not a friendly place for them," he said. "(Besides), there are parts of this country where you would swear that English is a second language based on your own background. If you took somebody from Minnesota and plunked him in Mississippi, then you might have a question."

Aww snap! Don’t be playa-hatin’ on those who not be speakin’ da "king’s Eng-lesh." Just ’cause you ain’t down-wit-it and don’t understand other speeches don’t mean you can make no law against "dem."

Did you get that? I didn’t think so.

Now you know how a "Minne-sow-tian" feels when attending college in Oakland, California. This "king’s English" bill needs to be implemented across the country — not just in Minnesota.

For shizzel.