A gay UK couple that traveled to the United States to manufacture and purchase a baby were met with difficulty when they tried to bring the baby home only to discover that they were required to say who the mother was. The baby's maternal side is represented by two women, an anonymous woman from whom the couple purchased an egg and a woman who they hired to gestate the child in her womb, a surrogate.
The pair, Adam Frisby and Jamie Corbett, post about being two gay dads and share many photos of their baby girl on Instagram. They told Sky News that part of the reason they determined to change the law with their petition to Parliament is because they have this platform.
The two men are not recognized as parents in the UK as commercial surrogacy is not legal. Altruistic surrogacy is legal but surrogacy agreements cannot be enforced by law. "If you use a surrogate, they will be the child’s legal parent at birth," the government states.
The couple revealed to Sky News that when they came back to the UK with the baby girl, they took her first to a doctor to enroll her in the NHS. The NHS wanted to know "who the mother is," but the men explained that there is no mother in her life.
"I explained again the situation," said Corbett, relaying this experience, "'she has an egg donor,' and we went back and forth for a little while, didn't we, with them, and in the end, the doctor's [office] were actually very good, and she was very understanding. But when I took Leven into the doctors with Adam, we had notes on the system to say that we weren't her legal parents here in the UK until we obtained this parental order."
They further object to being asked which one of them is the biological father of the child and the "gray area" around the parental order. One of them is legally the biological father, but they are "still not classed as her parents in the UK because our surrogate in the US is." They've been working with their lawyer to sort it out and the two men have been "emotional" about the whole thing.
If the baby should need serious medical care, the men would have to get permission from the High Court or even from their surrogate, the woman who birthed the baby. "It's just not how it should be, really," said Frisby.
The paperwork can take up to a year to get through and requires social worker visits and other government processes to ensure the safety of the child. "It just feels wrong under the circumstances, you know," he said.
The pair object to these checks, feeling that it's undue oversight. "I say this all the time but a surrogate child isn't an accidental child," Frisby said, "you know. They are planned for many years, so wanted. So, to sort of have social worker visits, assess that we're fit enough to be parents that we already are, just feels very off, so."
His partner Corbett chimed in, saying "Yeah and also when it comes to that kind of like social worker visit for me it feels incredibly backwards because Leven is already here, she's nearly 8-months-old, and I feel like that was ever going to happen, if we were going to be assessed to make sure we were fit enough to be her parents it probably should be before she was born."
Of the surrogate mother, Frisby wrote "A real life angel on earth. I’m sharing this not only because of how special this moment is to us, but also to help educate around surrogacy.
"Seeing the woman who helped make our dreams of starting a family come true, holding our baby… the little girl she kept safe for us for nine months - was incredibly emotional and something we’ll never forget.
"And I do want to say this, because I know how people can sometimes misinterpret moments like this. Krista isn’t emotional because she’s ‘letting go’ of a baby. She’s emotional because she’s just watched us become dads and hold our daughter for the very first time… which is exactly why she chose to embark on this selfless journey in the first place.
"We are endlessly grateful to her and this moment will forever hold a special place in our hearts."
Parliament debated the matter on Wednesday with MP Tracy Gilbert saying she "welcomed the opportunity to speak in the Westminster Hall debate on surrogacy. But Parliament needs to have a full debate on surrogacy and the fundamental questions it raises about the rights of women and children."
The pair, Adam Frisby and Jamie Corbett, post about being two gay dads and share many photos of their baby girl on Instagram. They told Sky News that part of the reason they determined to change the law with their petition to Parliament is because they have this platform.
The two men are not recognized as parents in the UK as commercial surrogacy is not legal. Altruistic surrogacy is legal but surrogacy agreements cannot be enforced by law. "If you use a surrogate, they will be the child’s legal parent at birth," the government states.
The couple revealed to Sky News that when they came back to the UK with the baby girl, they took her first to a doctor to enroll her in the NHS. The NHS wanted to know "who the mother is," but the men explained that there is no mother in her life.
"I explained again the situation," said Corbett, relaying this experience, "'she has an egg donor,' and we went back and forth for a little while, didn't we, with them, and in the end, the doctor's [office] were actually very good, and she was very understanding. But when I took Leven into the doctors with Adam, we had notes on the system to say that we weren't her legal parents here in the UK until we obtained this parental order."
They further object to being asked which one of them is the biological father of the child and the "gray area" around the parental order. One of them is legally the biological father, but they are "still not classed as her parents in the UK because our surrogate in the US is." They've been working with their lawyer to sort it out and the two men have been "emotional" about the whole thing.
If the baby should need serious medical care, the men would have to get permission from the High Court or even from their surrogate, the woman who birthed the baby. "It's just not how it should be, really," said Frisby.
The paperwork can take up to a year to get through and requires social worker visits and other government processes to ensure the safety of the child. "It just feels wrong under the circumstances, you know," he said.
The pair object to these checks, feeling that it's undue oversight. "I say this all the time but a surrogate child isn't an accidental child," Frisby said, "you know. They are planned for many years, so wanted. So, to sort of have social worker visits, assess that we're fit enough to be parents that we already are, just feels very off, so."
His partner Corbett chimed in, saying "Yeah and also when it comes to that kind of like social worker visit for me it feels incredibly backwards because Leven is already here, she's nearly 8-months-old, and I feel like that was ever going to happen, if we were going to be assessed to make sure we were fit enough to be her parents it probably should be before she was born."
Of the surrogate mother, Frisby wrote "A real life angel on earth. I’m sharing this not only because of how special this moment is to us, but also to help educate around surrogacy.
"Seeing the woman who helped make our dreams of starting a family come true, holding our baby… the little girl she kept safe for us for nine months - was incredibly emotional and something we’ll never forget.
"And I do want to say this, because I know how people can sometimes misinterpret moments like this. Krista isn’t emotional because she’s ‘letting go’ of a baby. She’s emotional because she’s just watched us become dads and hold our daughter for the very first time… which is exactly why she chose to embark on this selfless journey in the first place.
"We are endlessly grateful to her and this moment will forever hold a special place in our hearts."
The petition shared by Frisby encourages Parliament to change the law "so intended parents in surrogacy arrangements are recognised as their child’s legal parents from birth. Families should not have to go through months of court proceedings and social worker visits to be recognised as the parents of a child they planned and love."
Parliament debated the matter on Wednesday with MP Tracy Gilbert saying she "welcomed the opportunity to speak in the Westminster Hall debate on surrogacy. But Parliament needs to have a full debate on surrogacy and the fundamental questions it raises about the rights of women and children."
