Hear Ye! Hear Ye! King Newsom Issues Thanksgiving Directives

  • by:
  • 03/02/2023

California’s Governor Gavin Newsom has recently re-upped the COVID totalitarianism he thrust upon the Golden State earlier this year, but this time he’s banning Thanksgiving gatherings. Oh, and the rules don’t apply to him.

Ahead of Thanksgiving, California banned gatherings that include people from over three households and mandated that all gatherings be held outside.

The same rules mandate that everyone stay six feet apart, wear a mask and that everyone must be washing their hands "frequently," whatever that means.

Any holiday gatherings must also be "two hours or less," according to Emperor Newsom.

These rules include a stipulation suggesting whisper-singing, if one must sing. As well as cloth coverings over the sound holes of wind instruments, if one must play a wind instrument at such a gathering. Clarinet masks.

“Singing, chanting, shouting, cheering, playing of wind instruments and similar activities are not permitted in indoor gatherings,” which are only allowed, but still strongly discouraged, for counties outside of the “purple tier.”

At some point, Newsom decided to forgo the slightly more logical numbered tier system, for a color-coding system. Counties in the purple tier require that facilities like gyms, and restaurants operate outdoors only. Bars and breweries are closed, but wineries are also allowed to operate outdoors.

But now, aside from business regulations, a Californian’s assigned tier also determines how he is allowed to celebrate Thanksgiving, and whether or not, or under what conditions he can see his family. Or whether or not he can sing at a family gathering.

After residents seemed to scoff at the original gathering decrees, Newsom moved almost the entire state back into the "purple" reopening tier and issued tier specific gathering restrictions.

“Gatherings that occur outdoors are significantly safer than indoor gatherings. All gatherings must be held outside in the Purple Tier, and indoor gatherings are strongly discouraged in Red, Orange and Yellow Tiers,” reads the directive.

Newsome just demoted 41 counties to the purple category. This puts 94% of Californians in the most restrictive tier. This means that 94% of Californians are strictly forbidden by Newsom from any sort of indoor holiday gathering.

The governor also said that he was considering a business hour curfew, so that any small businesses that survived his first totalitarian tantrum are sure to be wiped out this time.

“We are sounding the alarm,” Newsom said. “California is experiencing the fastest increase in cases we have seen yet — faster than what we experienced at the outset of the pandemic or even this summer. The spread of COVID-19, if left unchecked, could quickly overwhelm our health care system and lead to catastrophic outcomes.

Officials and others have pointed out that California is seeing a spike in cases. What Newsom (perhaps purposely) neglects is the impact on this figure from widespread testing, not to mention the fact that death rate associated with the virus is dropping drastically.

In fact, in October, California's death rate dropped to the lowest seen in months.

California's overall death rate is now 1.7%

Although the cases have spiked, California’s daily deaths remain in a consistent decline since August.

In fact, California is currently among the bottom 20 states as far as death rate goes.

So why then, this seemingly disjointed reaction from Newsom?

Is it because he is misguided?

Is it because he doesn’t understand that cases will always go up, at varied rates? Does he think he can stop the virus?

Is it because he doesn’t understand that death and survival rates are the real measure of a successful fight against the virus?

That would be affording him an awful lot of credibility/

Newsom clearly doesn't think gathering with others is actually inherently dangerous. Otherwise he wouldn't have attended a Nov. 6  wine country schmooze fest at the exorbitant French Laundry restaurant. After being called out, for his attendance days after issuing his stipulations for how his subjects may gather, Newsom apologized for the "bad mistake" of not leaving the restaurant when he saw that the birthday party for political advisor Jason Kinney was larger than he expected.

Recently released photos show a maskless Newsom, with no social distancing in sight. They also call into question just how “outside” the gathering was. Although this is likely due in part to the avant-garde modern architecture of the swanky Napa restaurant.

Despite getting caught wining and dining with more than the approved number of individuals, Newsome would go on to bump almost the entire state down to the dreaded purple tier, just days after his apology.

Assuming Newsom doesn’t hate his longtime friend Jason Kinney, he didn’t believe that attending his birthday party was putting his life in any sort of serious danger.

So, if he doesn’t believe in following his own restrictions, why the fanfare?  Maybe then, it’s about power.

Image: by is licensed under