The week that was

“Life is not a matter of holding good cards, but sometimes, playing a poor hand well.”
– Jack London

Monday was Presidents’ Day. America used to observe two holidays, honoring the birthdays of Abe Lincoln and George Washington separately. We should probably revert back to this tradition since Barack Obama is now necessarily included in Presidents’ Day celebrations.

The Obama Administration has suggested we investin jihadi terrorists by giving them jobs. I hear the Acme Corporation is hiring.

A fraternity in Connecticut is suing Wesleyan University for sex discrimination because it’s being forced to accept women. This marks the first time a frat has rejected the idea of females joining in the fun. But after the UVA rape hoax, who can blame them?

It’s been bitterly frigid in most of the United States all this week because of a cold snap originating in SIBERIA. The feds encourage us to combat this “climate change” by cutting back on our meat consumption. Do they just expect us to let the bodies of our Tauntauns lie there in the tundra and go to waste?!

You’d think living with all those Kardashian women over the years would have transmitted female hormones enough, but nevertheless,  former Olympian Bruce Jenner has reportedly begun hormone therapy to turn himself into a woman. The therapy is evidently working, as he’s already started to drive like one.

Teresa Mull is managing editor of Human Events.


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