The week that was

“Balloons are so weird… ‘Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.'”
– Bill Murray

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor lived up to the “Can’t” part of his name by losing the Republican primary this week in Virginia. Lots of people are saying he lost because he is pro-amnesty and Virginians don’t want more immigration in case they end up with lots of people moving to their state who are like Terry McAuliffe.

Iraq is in shambles right now, even more than usual. Apparently dismantling a tenth of their forces wasn’t enough, because after they were “decimated” and “on the run,” Al-Qaeda is now taking over Baghdad. Maybe Bergdahl will help Obama make peace over there.

Thousands of illegal aliens are pouring across our borders. Our system for finding the border jumpers is working just great! The lawbreakers themselves are hunting down border patrol agents so they can receive a court summons and be sent merrily on their way.

The World Cup started in Brazil this week. It scored a record high number of viewers on ESPN, as America scored record high number of illegal immigrants with cable.

Today is Friday the 13th AND a full moon! AND a pregnant Chelsea Clinton wore leather pants.

Teresa Mull is the managing editor of Human Events.