The week that was

“Those are my principles, and if you don’t like them… well, I have others.”  – Groucho Marx

President Vladimir Putin made Crimea officially a part of Russia after he seized it. Obama then announced sanctions, at which the Russians laughed. Putin has learned from the Obamacare debacle that the U.S. president’s words mean nothing.

And speaking of Obamacare: premiums are doubling and tripling, and more work hours are being cut. Since “news” is considered a report of never-before-heard information, the administration considers in this case that no news is good news.

The San Jose Mercury News said “nobody should be surprised that Rand Paul got so warm a welcome” at UC Berkeley because the junior U.S. Senator from Kentucky is “a likely contender for 2016???s Republican presidential nomination.” The logic (or lack thereof) of these associations had everybody surprised that the San Jose Mercury News is taken seriously.

As the search for the missing Malaysia Airlines flight MH370 continues, so too do the theories regarding its disappearance. CNN suggested seriously that it was swallowed up by a black hole. Yes, CNN, that is likely. The black hole is called “the ocean.”

A CBS reporter revealed that White House Press Secretary Jay Carney gets questions delivered to him prior to press briefings, and that the whole spectacle is staged, as reporters get the answers in advance, too. Then the reporter who leaked this story retracted it and said it was a  “mistake.” Apparently she didn’t ask Jay Carney beforehand if it were OK to expose him.

Oh and March Madness started this week. Not to be confused with the main part of the breeding season of the European hare.