The week that was

???I wonder if the snow loves the trees and fields, that it kisses them so gently? And then it covers them up snug, you know, with a white quilt; and perhaps it says, ‘Go to sleep, darlings, till the summer comes again.’??? 
??? Lewis Carroll

The March for Life took place for the 41st time in a row in Washington, D.C. And for the 41st time in a row, the liberal media happened to miss hundreds of thousands of anti-abortion protesters demonstrating at the nation’s capital. They were too distracted by one protester, advocating abortion rights in Texas.

Wendy Davis, running for governor of Texas, tells a sob life story about being a single mother who went from living in a trailer park to graduating from Harvard Law. Now the truth of her narrative has come out. Turns out the “abortion Barbie” (with apologies to Mattel) took her moniker a little too much to heart and invented a background about as real as the doll’s proportions.

Michelle Obama celebrated her 50th birthday this week in true Michelle Obama style. She championed her own “Let’s move!” campaign by dancing the night away with Beyoncé and other people who look like this. She also stayed true to her healthy eating crusade by not telling anyone what food was served at the party, reasoning that what you don’t know can’t hurt you.

Seattle Seahawks’ cornerback Richard Sherman declared after his team’s playoff game victory, “I’m the greatest.” With all of his talk of equality, this explains why Barack Obama would not allow a hypothetical son of his to play football.

And Justin Beiber got arrested for DUI. He was also high, speeding, influenced by prescription meds, oh, and really, really intolerably annoying. The only chance we have of getting him deported back to Canada whence he came is if they find out he is here legally.

Teresa Mull is the managing editor of Human Events.