Five reasons why having liberal friends is a bad idea

Having one or two liberal friends is acceptable to keep oneself amused and to be reminded that such people somehow manage to survive in the world. They also make you feel smart. But the habit of associating with leftists can be very detrimental to your overall health and happiness. Here???s why you should limit your number of liberal friends to ??? zero:

They are no fun. At all.

Liberals will cramp your style. SO. MUCH. They regulate everything, especially fun. They???re big on telling you, ???No.??? You know who else is big on telling you no? School teachers, college RAs, meter maids, and the government. AKA ??? the least fun people ever.

???You can???t do this, you can???t do that.??? You can???t smoke cigarettes, you can???t drink soda or eat delicious fatty foods. You can???t drive fast cars, you can???t celebrate Christmas. You DEFINITELY can???t make jokes. What if you hurt someone???s feelings? (No one told them that???s the most fun part.)

They are bad for your health.

Liberals love to argue. It???s a big part of their shtick. It???s not enough just to subscribe to an ideology and live it out as they see fit. If liberals did that, they???d be conservatives. Instead, they feel the need to impose their beliefs on you and everyone else.

In the course of most friendships, disagreements arise and arguments take an entertaining and playful bent. Trying to argue with a liberal, though, carries with it the high probability that you will go mad. After all, if they were rational, logical human beings, they???d be conservatives.

They are bad drivers.

Ever notice how the cars that cut you off in traffic (then honk their horns), speed through red lights, make illegal turns, and park with their blinkers on in way of everyone else more often than not sport Obama stickers? Or something about how far they ran that one time? Or how much they love mother earth and ethically-sourced coffee and yoga and co-existing (whatever that means)? The bumper-sticker culture screams LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! screams self-centered, and the self-centered nature of liberal driving screams STAY AWAY.

They are lazy.

For all their “progressive” ways, lefties don’t want to work very hard. Liberals love to rely on other people/entities to take care of them and of stuff. They rely on government to take care of poor people, to fix roads, to deliver things, to feed their kids, babysit their kids, transport their kids, educate their kids, pay for preventing and/or killing their kids, and pretty much relieve them of all other personal duties. Such an attitude will translate to your relationship, and you may find yourself as the top 40 percent of friends who pays 106 percent of restaurant bills and bar tabs.

They are unreliable.

“Rules were made to be broken” (because they were made by liberals for everyone else) is the only rule elitist liberals actually follow. They are above the law, which means they are not expected to remain loyal to decent social norms such as showing up on time, if at all. Actually, this is one of the nice things about having a liberal friend.

[Seriously, can you imagine hanging out with Michael Moore? Having fun with with anyone from MSNBC? Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, and John Kerry honestly look exactly like the opposite of a good time.]

Teresa Mull is the managing editor of Human Events.