Matt Damon???s latest thriller, ???Promised Land,??? exposes the recklessness of environmentalists who are invading public schools and exposing our children to dangerous chemicals and smoke inhalation after dousing plastic farm animals with hazardous fuels and setting them on fire.
This romantic comedy is a classic reminder of the moral and historical lessons Hollywood often teaches us through the magic of their imaginations and foreign investors.
In honor of Matt Damon, and today???s announcement of this year???s Academy Award nominations, Human Events brings you the top 10 important lessons Hollywood teaches us:
10. British accents are sexy.
9. Pay attention in Latin class.
8. Do or do not. There is no try.
7. Don???t take the brown acid!
6. You haven???t seen everything till you???ve seen a man eat his own head.
5. Chicks dig a jazz flutist.
4. Flashbacks are cool!
3. Only capitalist pigs use volcanoes for science projects.
2. Revenge is a dish best served cold. It is very cold in space.
1. The Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.