Food Stamp Nation holds dependency parties

Food stamps have absolutely exploded under Barack Obama and George Bush.  We’re up to one in seven Americans receiving them.  But that means 85 percent of America is still insufficiently dependent!  What’s Big Government to do?

I know!  How about encouraging food stamp offices to hold “social events where people mix and mingle?”  They could “make it fun by having activities, games food, and entertainment,” while recruiting new food-stamp dependents with information about the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP).  And those don’t have to be boring old pamphlets!  Information about food stamps could be presented “in a game format like BINGO, crossword puzzles, or even a true/false quiz.”

You’ve been getting a sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because I enclosed all those ideas in quotes, haven’t you?  That’s because they come from a U.S. Department of Agriculture pamphlet.  This is not satire – they really do want to throw parties to get more people on food stamps.  They’ve already spent a cool $3 million on radio ads to push the program during the first half of this year.

As the Daily Caller observes, the USDA regards this effort as not merely an “opportunity for improved nutrition” (risible for anyone familiar with the sort of things food stamps are routinely used to purchase) but also a bold form of economic stimulus: “Every $5 in new SNAP benefits generates $9.20 in an additional community spending.  If the national participation rate rose five percentage points, 1.9 million more low-income people would have an additional $1.3 billion in benefits per year to use to purchase healthy food and $2.5 billion total in new economic activity would be generated nationwide.”

Why, if we could only make enough of what was formerly called the “middle class” hooked on food stamps, and combine that with the almighty “stimulus” of unemployment checks beloved by President Obama, we should have a perpetual-motion machine of unsustainable government spending and unbreakable dependency up and running in no time!  Prosperity through poverty, baby!