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Hollywood & Slime: Get your designer-made Obama swag now!

Get the $45 t-shirt designed by Sean John or the $95 scarf designed by Thakoon Panichgul. So 99%!

— Pip pip and cheerio, funseekers. All eyes shift across the pond for Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee celebration on Monday, a must-watched precursor to the summer Olympics also hosted this year by our dashing and sentimental Brit friends. It’s a big darned deal to us because our own life goal is STILL to become a princess.

You can say a lot about the value of a modern monarchy – those tea-swilling palace dwellers cost a boatload — but we think this queen has certainly held her ground in an increasingly ugly and common world – some of her family members included. Regal, wise, proper and dear. We like her – and her steely hat, coat and matching purse combos. We hope Liz doesn’t get upstaged by the celebrity crush of Kate and Wills. It’s her day but tout le monde is on baby watch and if the new Duchess of Canterbury eats one too many crumpets, any bulge on her tiny frame will send paparazzi – and fashion maggers — into frenzy.

BBC America, CNN and other networks will broadcast some of the queen’s mondo jubilee party, which is set to include a Buckingham Palace concert featuring Sir Elton John, Sir Paul McCartney and dashing Welshman Tom Jones, among others. Rock on, Windsors. ¬†Sixty years on the throne is quite a run.

 

— Celebrity cook – she’s not a chef – Rachael Ray seems to have lost a lot of her perk in the kitchen. We caught her show on the Food Network last weekend and her presentation and energy seemed awfully ho-hum and SO serious. We liked her a lot more we she was a spunky cheerleader, touting the virtues of “E-V-O-O‚?Ě and quacking about how one of her dishes was “Yum-o!.‚?Ě Perk up, chica. You’re famous and on TV.

— Fashion question: is there some sort of symbolism in the eyewear of the Indy drivers? They all wear these fashion forward shades – neon yellow, bright white — tres Euro. We’ll have to get to the bottom of this beyond the obvious endorsement deals. Congrats to the adorable Scot Dario Franchitti ¬†— three-peat — and his Bluegrass actress wife Ashley Judd. They were darling in the winner’s circle in a congratulatory, milk- covered smooch. It was supersad, tho, that Jim Nabors, 81, could not make it to sing live this year because he will soon undergo a heart surgery. We love us some Gomer Pyle and the tradition of his singing at the big Hoosier race. Indy, BTW, is a fab city. You should go.

–Of course looks don’t matter that much in politics‚?¶. Wait. Maybe they do in our reality show-centric culture. Anywho, driving across this great nation recently, we came across several political billboards featuring a crop of handsome young Congressional candidates along with many running for state legislatures. Seen Texas’ Robert Francis “Beto‚?Ě O’Rourke? He’s as Kennedy cute as his name and he nabbed a primary win earlier this week against longtime incumbent Silvestre Reyes in El Paso. ¬†Maybe we’ll start a website called: Politicute. Back offa that URL, peeps. We called first-dibs.

–Yes, she’s worn this concoction several times before but we still have major love for Michelle Obama’s Tracy Feith bow dress that she snapped out of her no-doubt vast FLOTUS closet once again for last week’s Memorial Day services. We’re a sucker for a bow and if this is remotely on trend, that’d be awesome. ¬†She carries that feminine but strong print so well, continuing to defy Washington dowdy. A little whimsy goes a long way, Beltway folk. #fightthekhaki

— So Marky Mark Zuckerberg, of Facebook fame and recent IPO horrorshow, has not been tipping during his Italian honeymoon, news accounts suggest. Either he’s besotted by love and matrimony, or cashless and clueless on a global stage – #cybernerd. We bet his negative publicity over this gaffe prompts hubbie and wife to quietly make it right. We do. Wifey – the newly minted pediatrician with her own life, ahem — seems fabulous. Didn’t ya love her wedding dress? Quietly chic, understated perfection.

–The film adaptation of the fun Broadway musical “Rock of Ages‚?Ě opens June 15. Tom Cruise, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Russell Brand, Julianne Hough are aboard. If you’re the type to release your inner air-guitar, rock star fantasies in the living room, we think you’re gonna dig it. With music from bands like Journey, REO Speedwagon, Foreigner and one of our personal faves, Poison (love us some C.C. DeVille) – you’ll need to bring you’re A-game on the big hair, kids. “It ain’t nothing, but a good time‚?¶.‚?Ě Watch the trailer here.

— As mentioned above, the Summer Olympics opens this year and its production is being helmed by Oscar-winning film director Danny Boyle. The theme: a little bit of Shakespeare’s The Tempest and a little bit of Frankenstein. We are a total sucker for Olympic pageantry and this sounds like dark and wicked magnificence. Might the flame fly in on an Olympic broom? With Harry Potter aboard to light it? We can’t wait.

— She’s the hottest secretary of state in America but is Florida’s Pam Bondi a runaway bride? Not exactly, but there were questions raised when an A-list of state politicos high-tailed it to the Cayman Islands for a wedding that never happened, Florida newspapers reported. Seems bombshell blonde Pam and fianc√?¬© Greg Henderson, 62, an opthamologist, flew with a bunch of their political pals to the Cayman Islands for a supposed tropical ceremony at the tony Ritz Carlton. The revelers for this destination wedding included Florida Gov. Rick Scott. But the service never went off, even if the party continued. The couple, mum on the details of this seemingly odd nuptial miscue, says they will instead have a small church service in the Sunshine State. Mazel Tov, kids.

–Poor Kathie Lee Gifford, a woman who consistently lacks the gene for self-censorship, must wish she could rescind an on-air bumble that had her asking comedian Martin Short on live television how he and his wife were doing in their happy marriage. The problem: his wife of 30 years died of cancer in 2010. Short was stunned but gracious. KLG, no doubt, was mortified. She later tweeted a mea culpa for her sad stumble. “I send my sincerest apologies to @martinshort and his family. He handled situation w/enormous grace and kindness and I’m so grateful.‚?Ě

–Freshness from our fave pundit Stephen Colbert: “Today the UN makes a startling announcement: Those UN earphones they wear for translations? They’re playing Lynyrd Skynyrd.

–So Kristin Davis, the Upper East Side kitten in the‚?ĚSex in the City‚?Ě series, is dating writer Aaron Sorkin of “The West Wing‚?Ě TV fame. Oddly, we like this coupling. Continue on, kids.

–And finally, a little fashionable and political truth right now from NRO’s fab blogger Jim Geraghty: √Ę‚?¨ŇĹ”Nothing screams ‘I’m sensitive to the economic struggles of my fellow Americans’ like purchasing an $85 Vera Wang-designed custom canvas tote bag at the BarackObama.com store. Or the $45 t-shirt designed by Sean John. Or the $95 scarf designed by Thakoon Panichgul of Thakoon. Or the $85 wallet designed by Grace Tsao-Wu and Laura Kofoid of Laudi Vidni. Remember, purchasing and flaunting these items is the very best way to show all your friends on the Upper West Side or SoHo that you’re not like that snob Mitt Romney and the 1 Percent!”

 

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Written By

Andrea Billups is a freelance journalist and author based in Michigan.

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