Hello again, liberal media morality crusaders! I’d like to interrupt your feverish efforts to get the likes of Mike Malloy and Randi Rhodes off the air to present your new outrage boycott target: Alec Baldwin, actor and Capital One spokesman.
Capital One, you might recall, was one of the advertisers persuaded to drop the Rush Limbaugh program, after the radio host used the word “slut” in unacceptable proximity to professional liberal activist Sandra Fluke. I know you liberals aren’t a bunch of disgusting hypocrites who care about nothing except silencing your most successful opponents, so it’s time for you to flood Capital One with emails and phone calls once again, demanding they drop Alec Baldwin as a pitchman.
For one thing, Baldwin’s ad with the Capital One barbarians is much less funny than the barbarians were on their own. That’s not the real problem, though. Baldwin has a history of what we might call rude behavior, which includes calling for the violent murder of a Republican politician he especially disliked, the late Congressman Henry Hyde, during a nationally televised program in 1998. Just for good measure, Baldwin suggested stoning the wives and children of disfavored politicians to death as well.
Despite the absolutely exquisite sensitivity to hostile rhetoric they displayed against Limbaugh, Capital One hired Baldwin, and now he’s been running around calling Senator James Inhofe (R-OK) an “oil whore.” Baldwin isn’t even smart enough to think up such idiocy on his own – he’s parroting rhetoric from Robert Kennedy Jr., who used the somewhat less crude formulation “Big Oil’s top call girl” to describe Inhofe, a powerful and effective critic of the “global warming” scam.
At least Baldwin isn’t calling for Inhofe’s violent murder. He just thinks “we need to have Inhofe retired to a solar-powered gay bar.” That doesn’t sound like much fun, since bars – gay and otherwise – conduct a great deal of their business at night.
Dimly aware that he might become problematic for his beloved Democrat Party and their limp “War on Women” political strategy by throwing the word “whore” around, Baldwin “clarified” his remarks by explaining, “But Fluke isn’t a slut and Inhofe is an Oil Whore. Y’see?” Brilliant!
Baldwin, who once suspended his Twitter account in a rare flash of good sense after he got in trouble for an altercation with a flight attendant, found himself called on the virtual carpet by Navy wife and veteran Heather Fearnside, who also took exception to some of Baldwin’s saltier ruminations on the untimely death of Andrew Breitbart. When she chastised Baldwin for calling Sen. Inhofe a whore, he responded to her with a message that read, in its entirety:
@hmfearny Oil Whore…
Which led many spectators to suppose Baldwin was calling Fearnside an “oil whore.” However, keeping the Chevy Volt speed of Alec Baldwin’s intellect in mind, it’s more likely he was trying to remind her that he had previously called Inhofe an “oil whore,” not just a “whore.” It’s not pretty when bitter, arrogant, inarticulate people are given only 140 characters to expound on their previous grunts and wheezes.
Still, nobody cared that Rush Limbaugh never actually called Sandra Fluke a “slut,” and deploying crude misogynistic language against a male Senator – because he happens to think people other than politicians and big Hollywood stars should be able to fly around in airplanes or enjoy air conditioning – is not at all consistent with the new atmosphere of civility our President has called for. We don’t want people looking at Barack Obama’s relationship to the “green energy” companies run by his top contributors and thinking of prostitution, do we?
Your course is clear, Liberal Outrage Brigades! It should take you no time at all to persuade all reputable advertisers, movie studios, and television networks that they must dismiss Alec Baldwin immediately, in accordance with their firm stance against the use of sexually derogatory language.