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The Soylent Green Energy Initiative

 

Anguished that people are actually holding him accountable for the results of his policies, President Obama – master of the moratorium, enemy of oil pipelines – fled to the University of Miami to assure everyone that he really wants an “all of the above” strategy. 

Much like “jobs created or saved,” this is a lazy rhetorical device designed to allow Obama’s dwindling band of die-hard supporters to pretend he’s actually devising some sort of complex technocratic solution to America’s energy needs.  An annoyed House Speaker John Boehner responded with an extremely detailed timetable, showing how the President’s policies have driven up gas prices – noting, among other inconvenient truths, that “energy production on federal lands has dropped by 11 percent.”

When you look over Boehner’s timetable, remember that as awful as President Obama’s policies have been, he was actually stopped from doing things that would have been far worse.  Have the Obama Zombies applauding like baby seals for the President’s endless lame excuses forgotten about cap-and-trade already?  And not a day goes by that Obama doesn’t dream about raising taxes through the roof on oil producers.  His Energy Secretary, Steven Chu, is an open advocate of reaching European gas prices, which current sit at nine dollars per gallon.  We’re about halfway there.

The biggest howler in Obama’s embarrassing Miami appearance was the passage about our bold new future as an algae-fueled nation:

We’re making new investments in the development of gasoline and diesel and jet fuel that’s actually made from a plant-like substance: algae.  You’ve got a bunch of algae out here, right?  If we can figure out how to make energy out of that, we’ll be doing all right. 

Believe it or not, we could replace up to 17 percent of the oil we import for transportation with this fuel that we can grow right here in the United States.  And that means greater energy security.  That means lower costs.  It means more jobs.  It means a stronger economy. 

It also means that if you manage to survive an accident in your algae-fueled car, you’ll end up looking like the guy Stephen King played in Creepshow

I think we have our new Obama 2012 slogan: “I’m from the government, and I’m here to kelp you.”

There’s so much wrong with Obama’s position that it’s hard to know where to start, but we might begin with a Nobel-prize winning biophysicist, Hartmut Michel, penning an editorial called “The Nonsense of Biofuels.”  And for a taste of the Obamanomic wonders to come in our algae-fueled future, consider that when the Navy was forced to purchase biofuel mixtures as part of another Obama “green energy” crony capitalist initiative, the stuff ended up costing four times as much as regular jet fuel.  Even if Obama’s magical algae fuel technology could actually be made to work, we’d end up paying a fortune for crap that barely makes our cars move, while Obama’s cronies raked in billions of tax dollars.  Instead of getting ripped off at the pump, we’d get ripped off at the sump.

You know what else is made from algae?  Soylent Green.  At least, that’s what all the brochures said.  In the classic 1973 Charlton Heston sci-fi film, the dystopian government of an over-populated future brought a wonderful new synthetic food to the starving masses, advertised as “the miracle food of high-energy plankton gathered from the oceans of the world.”  It turned out to be something else entirely.

And that’s Obama’s energy policy in a nutshell: daydreams and false promises, shoveled out by a dying regime desperate to hold on to power, by convincing the American people to set aside even the most basic capacity for reason.  Even if algae-based fuel was the gateway to our sustainable future, enabling us to replace our gas-guzzling Hummers with eco-friendly Scummers, why should we cripple our existing fuel industry while we’re doing the research?  Newt Gingrich speaks of replacing Obama-style crony capitalism with prizes for private companies that voluntarily research valuable new technologies.  Why can’t we Win The Future by doing that, in addition to developing our domestic energy resources and achieving fossil-fuel independence?

Here’s how President Obama caricatured his opponents:

You can bet that since it’s an election year, they’re already dusting off their 3-point plan for $2 gas.  And I’ll save you the suspense.  Step one is to drill and step two is to drill. And then step three is to keep drilling.  We heard the same line in 2007 when I was running for President.  We hear the same thing every year.  We’ve heard the same thing for 30 years. 

Well, the American people aren’t stupid.  They know that’s not a plan, especially since we’re already drilling.  That’s a bumper sticker.  It’s not a strategy to solve our energy challenge.  That’s a strategy to get politicians through an election.

Imagine those crazy Republicans, thinking the solution to scarce domestic oil is to go out and get more domestic oil!  Obama and his Party have spent the last 30 years blocking rational attempts to improve our oil supply, and now he’s got the unmitigated nerve to criticize the people who actually know what they’re talking about for trying to get around his no-growth Democrats to get something done.  Ten years ago, they told us there was no point in developing our resources, because it would take ten years for the investment to pay off.  They’ll be saying the same thing ten years from now, of course. 

And how breathtakingly foolish must one be, to accept the argument that because we’re doing some drilling, it couldn’t possibly help to do any more?  The people who applauded that line should have been required to hand in their drivers’ licenses on the way out of the University of Miami, because it’s dangerous to have anyone with such poor judgment behind the wheel of a car, whether it’s fueled by gasoline or pond scum.

Barack Obama offers America a vision of decay, in which a towering corrupt government seizes our money and pours it into a string of “green energy” bankruptcies, while telling us to drive less and accept higher prices for everything.  The billions he’s already wasted got us one Solyndra after another, but give him four more years and another trillion bucks, and maybe he’ll be able to bring us a future in which bank robbers tell their getaway drivers, “Here come the cops!  Step on the algae!” 

If we’re willing to accept the false promises of the Soylent Green Energy Initiative, we’ll end up sharing Charlton Heston’s horror over what we’ve been swallowing.

 

Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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