Today is Epic Fail Day on Capitol Hill, as both Attorney General Eric Holder and prominent Democrat Jon Corzine, the former Democrat governor of New Jersey and former Democrat Senator, who is a Democrat, will be testifying. (It seems like the rest of the media has trouble mentioning Corzine’s party affiliation these days, so I thought I’d lend a hand. I’m here to help!)
Holder is in the hot seat for his role in sending guns and huge piles of cash to Mexican drug cartels. At least Holder can say he knows where the money went. Not so with Jon Corzine, who ran billion-dollar investment firm MF Global into the ground. CNN reports:
“I simply do not know where the money is, or why the accounts have not been reconciled to date,” said Corzine, in prepared testimony to the House Agriculture Committee on Thursday.
He also apologized “to all those affected.”
“My sadness, of course, pales in comparison to the losses and hardships that customers, employees and investors suffered as a result of MF Global’s bankruptcy,” he said.
(Emphasis mine.) I think we have our slogans for the President’s re-election campaign!
Obama 2012: I Simply Do Not Know Where the Money Is
Obama 2012: My Sadness Pales In Comparison To Yours
Incidentally, the word “Democrat” does not appear once in CNN’s piece. Corzine is simply described as “a former U.S. senator and governor of New Jersey.” Curiously, they never bother to mention that he’s a top Obama money man who held $38,000-a-plate fundraiser for the Obama 2012 campaign, just seven short months ago. Other MF Global executives maxed out their donations to Obama as well, producing a sweet $500,000 “bundle” Corzine handed over to the President’s campaign.
You don’t suppose there might have been some quid pro quo for all that juicy Corzine campaign cash, do you? We may never really know. In a completely unrelated story, did you know the company Corzine ran into the ground was one of only 22 companies rated “financially secure” enough to sell U.S. government debt, even though they only turned a profit three times in the last 12 quarters? And now they’re bankrupt, with $1.2 billion missing, and the Administration’s economic guru says he “simply does not know where the money is.” What a crazy world we live in, and how it bursts with inexplicable wonders!
President Obama celebrated Corzine as “an honest man” and “one of his ‘best partners’ in the White House,” as ABC News recalls. Vice President Joe Biden applauded his brilliance and said the Administration was “on the phone” to Corzine asking him, “Jon, what do you think we should do?” That might explain a lot about the Obamanomics disaster.
Corzine’s testimony today is the first time in more than a century that a former senator has been subpoenaed to testify before Congress. And yet, in light of all this, major media outlets don’t think Corzine’s party affiliation and close ties to the Obama Administration are worth mentioning. For a modest fee, I would be happy to serve as a CNN consultant and ensure they identify disgraced Democrats properly in their stories. I would like to submit the first paragraph of this post as my resume.
In a preview of Corzine’s testimony yesterday – which also does not use the word “Democrat” even once – CNN Money succinctly explained what he’s in trouble for:
More than $1.2 billion worth of MF Global (MFGLQ) customer funds may be unaccounted for, according to the trustee overseeing the brokerage’s liquidation, a shortfall that has sparked investigations by the FBI and federal regulators. In Congress, the House Financial Services Committee and the Senate Agriculture Committee are investigating along with the House Agriculture Committee.
The case — the eighth-largest bankruptcy in U.S. history — has shaken faith in the markets and put business on hold for many owners of the roughly 38,000 securities and commodities trading accounts at the firm, from big-city traders to heartland farmers. Analysts believe MF Global may have unlawfully mixed customer money with its own, though no one at the firm has been formally accused of wrongdoing
Wow. Tough break, heartland farmers! Too bad a top Obama donor and Democrat Party power broker decided to blow your money on a harebrained scheme to buy European debt, which the average high-school freshman could have told him was a stupid idea. Take comfort in knowing his sadness pales in comparison to your losses and hardships.
The Associated Press, which does mention Corzine’s party membership halfway through the story, predicts that beyond his prepared testimony, he’ll probably be taking the Fifth more often than Beethoven today:
The former New Jersey senator and governor may offer a statement at the House Agriculture Committee hearing. But he’ll likely decline to answer potentially damaging questions by invoking his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination.
Otherwise, anything he might say could be used against him in a courtroom, should Corzine ever be charged in the case. The FBI and several federal regulators are investigating MF Global.
“He can’t begin to answer substantive questions,” said Stephen Gillers, a professor at New York University School of Law.
The hearing will likely provide few answers to what happened at the firm. But it may offer some political theater. Corzine would have to invoke his Fifth Amendment right each time he’s asked a potentially damaging question.
Corzine will likely take a similar tack next week, when he’s scheduled to testify to two other congressional committees.
You see, MF Global didn’t tell its customers – or certain regulatory agencies – about those high-risk European debt gambles Corzine was making. It kept that stuff off the balance sheet, and as the AP explains, there’s a law that says “CEOs of public companies must personally certify the accuracy of financial statements.” Corzine can’t really claim ignorance of that law, because he helped write it.