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Zombies For Gun Control

Mayors Against Illegal Guns is a gun-control coalition founded by Michael Bloomberg and Thomas Menino, the mayors of New York and Boston, respectively.  Bloomberg is an Independent who used to be a Republican, and Menino is a Democrat, but they share similar nanny-state proclivities.  For example, back in April, Menino banned soft drinks, sports drinks, and sweetened iced tea from city property, ostensibly to combat rising obesity rates.

Mayors Against Illegal Guns spends a lot of its time agitating against concealed-carry laws, which are incompatible with the kind of helpless citizenry Bloomberg and Menino love to see wrapped in swaddling clothes and held tightly by Mother Government.  They also “applauded the Obama Administration’s implementation of a new policy that will help curb illegal gun trafficking to Mexico,” by which they meant a new gun-control law, not the end of the Obama Administration’s frantic efforts to sell guns to Mexican drug lords.

Not only does this group include celebrity mayors, it also enjoys strong support from the Undead-American community.  A Bitter post (that’s the blogger’s handle, although it’s also a good adjective for the post) at gun-rights blog Shall Not Be Questioned explains that Tom Martin, the mayor of Freeland Borough in Pennsylvania, sadly died of cancer in September 2010, but continues to sign statements and letters from Mayors Against Illegal Guns:

In fact, not only do they claim him as a member, but the deceased mayor has signed his name to at least two advertisements, three letters to Congress, and one letter to the President sent by Michael Bloomberg’s office. Now, just how on earth is Bloomberg getting a dead man to sign his letters? And why are media outlets running advertisements that are clearly fraudulent?

Bitter has links to the various documents signed by Martin, along with the elapsed time after his death for each signature.  The latest instance is a USA Today ad from October 20, which is 1 year, 1 month, and 18 days after the Mayor passed away. 

This should go a long way toward answering the complaints of Walking Dead fans that the zombie apocalypse is an inherently short-term problem that solves itself, since the zombies should quickly rot away and lose their combat effectiveness.  If they can still sign documents after a year, I think we can safely conclude the zombie plague is not a problem that will solve itself through entropy.

Instead of castigating the media for swallowing obvious fraud from a gun-control group, perhaps we should think outside the box (or casket) and applaud this important outreach from a former Republican into the undead community, which has in the past voted solidly Democrat.  If the dead are ready to support a mayor who was elected as a Republican, their political center of gravity may be shifting.  If the undead voters of Chicago show any signs of moving right, the Democrat Party is in big trouble.

Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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