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Uncle Omar Returns

The Boston Herald reassures us that Barack Obama’s illegal alien uncle, Onyango Obama, is not letting America’s feeble attempt to briefly consider enforcing its fraud, immigration, and drunk-driving laws get him down:

A giggling Onyango Obama — the president’s illegal alien half uncle — made a brief appearance in Framingham District Court today on charges he was drunk when he nearly struck an unmarked police cruiser last month.

Obama, 67, was visibly amused at the media spectacle, stifling laughter several times before his 30-second court appearance where a judge set a Nov. 17 pre-trial conference.

Well, at least the old boy remains in high spirits.  Speaking of which, he’s back on the job selling spirits, presumably with his phony Social Security Number and driver’s license in hand.

His attorney, P. Scott Bratton, did, however, tell the Herald that Obama, who has been living illegally in the United States for nearly 20 years, has returned to work at Conti Liquors in Framingham.

“He has. He’s doing well,” Bratton said.

I’m sure every legal citizen who has unsuccessfully applied for work at Obama’s liquor store will be relieved to know he’s getting by.  Maybe he’ll even earn enough to pay the four thousand dollars in back taxes he’s been evading for the last 24 years!  Listen to your nephew, Omar – it’s time to “pay your fair share.”

As for that pesky “deportation” business, fear not.  The Herald tells us “immigration officials have ordered him to ‘check in’ with them.”  Well, that takes care of that!  You can slip into Hotel America any time you want, and stay forever, as long as you “check in” with the concierge sometime in the first thirty years.

Omar’s not totally out of the legal woods yet.  Identity fraud, tax evasion, and immigration violations may be laughable trivia, but the local D.A. has “vowed to prosecute Obama to the fullest extent possible” for his drunk driving shenanigans.  That could end with Uncle Omar being forced to pick up a new driver’s license in the parking lot of the local 7-11.

The really sad part of the story is that Uncle Omar’s threatened call to the White House apparently went to his boss at the liquor store instead.  In other words, this travesty is happening without political intervention.  This is the default behavior of the same massive government, from local to federal levels, which insists you need to give it more money to work its wonders. 

Unless you’re an illegal alien, in which case you can feel free to skate on those taxes, and maybe even cash in on the $4.2 billion in fraudulent tax credits dished out by the IRS.  Does anyone know if Onyango Obama has collected one of those?

Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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