Moammar Hearts Leeza


The Libyan rebels have been merrily ransacking Moammar Qaddafi’s bunkers (and arms depots!) and turning up all sorts of interesting things.  Among the treasures recovered, according to the New York Times, are “a gold-plated rifle and his golf cart.”  What do you suppose they’ll do with the golf cart?  You don’t think… naaaaah.

One of the items recovered is a bit of fallout from the charm offensive launched by George Bush’s Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice.  As the Times blog tells it:

“Leezza, Leezza, Leezza … I love her very much,” Colonel Qaddafi, the now-fugitive Libyan leader, told Al Jazeera in 2007, calling her his “darling black African woman.” When Ms. Rice visited her suitor in 2008, at the same compound that Libyan rebels are now ransacking (more on that in a second) back during the brief period when Colonel Qaddafi was in good graces with the United States, the Libyan dictator put his hand against his heart in greeting.

And, as it now comes out, he apparently assembled — or had a minion assemble — a photo album of Ms. Rice. Which brings us to the matter at hand today, the ransacking of Colonel Qaddafi’s compound under way in Tripoli.

Rebels going through the Qaddafi compound have unearthed the photo album stocked with Ms. Rice’s visage on every page. There she is, in one, smiling off to the side, her flip-do accented perfectly for the camera. And there she is in another, smiling next to you-know-who during that visit to Tripoli. He is wearing a flowing white robe with purple sash and Africa pin; she looks more businesslike in a gray pinstripe suit with white pearls, her flip-do having given way to a pageboy bob.

I don’t know how Rice ever made it out of Libya.  Chicks usually can’t resist the purple sash.  Also, I can’t read the line about “minions” assembling that photo album without envisioning a pack of the little yellow guys from Despicable Me giggling and getting into slap fights, while a scowling Qaddafi stands in the background with his arms folded.

An article at Yahoo News expands on Qaddafi’s thoughts about his “darling black African woman,” and reminds us that she’s not the only target of his creepy affections:

“I support my darling black African woman,” Gadhafi told al-Jazeera. “I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders … Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. … I love her very much. I admire her and I’m proud of her because she’s a black woman of African origin.”

Gadhafi has also spoken fondly of President Barack Obama, calling him “our dear son,” as inthis April 2011 letter he wrote to Obama, first reported by the Associated Press, in which he complained about NATO air strikes on his country:

“Our son, Excellency, President Obama, U.S.A,” Gadhafi wrote. “We have been hurt more morally than physically because of what had happened against us in both deeds and words by you. Despite all this, you will always remain our son whatever happened. We still pray that you continue to be president of the U.S.A. We endeavor and hope that you will gain victory in the new election campaign.”

Incidentally, I’m not sure if it’s proper etiquette to change the spelling of Qaddafi’s name to the one you prefer, when quoting a news article.  I hereby call upon all global media to refer to him by Tripoli’s favorite nickname, “Frizz-Head,” in the interests of clarity and consistency.

We’ll probably have to wait for rebel or NATO forces to catch Frizz-Head to find out if he’s withdrawn his campaign endorsement of Obama.  I would suggested expanding the search to include the bushes outside of Condoleeza Rice’s house, and Martha’s Vineyard. 

Update: The gang at Next Animation in Taiwan decided to immortalize this star-crossed infatuation in their own special way.  Warning: includes a not-quite-safe-for-work image of Arab leadership that you will never be able to rinse out of your brain.