Revised Obama Enemies List


In his budget speech last night, President Obama laid out quite a list of enemies.  Many of these names will be quite familiar to longtime Obama-watchers, since he repeated many of the same poll-tested phrases he always uses. 

As a public service, here is the entire list of enemies sprinkled through the President’s fifteen minute speech, presented in the order Obama blamed them for the failures of his Administration.  If you belong to one of the groups named below, please send money to Washington until you feel better, or at least until Barack Obama feels better.

1. George W. Bush

2. Anyone who got a tax cut in 2000

3. Seniors who participate in Medicare Part D

4. Businesses which have generated less tax revenue since 2009 due to the recession

5. Middle-class families

6. Anyone receiving unemployment benefits

7. States that were planning to fire teachers, firefighters, and police officers in 2009

8. Everyone except Barack Obama who had anything to do with making the national debt larger

9. Businesses that won’t hire people because the country can’t balance its books

10. Financial institutions that lend money to homeowners, students, and corner stores

11. The two major political parties, pointedly excluding Barack Obama

12. The Pentagon

13. The wealthiest Americans

14. The biggest corporations

15. People who want deep spending cuts

16. A significant number of Republicans in Congress who oppose tax increases

17. Those at the top of the income scales, from whom nothing is asked

18. Corporate jet owners

19. Oil companies

20. Hedge fund managers who pay lower tax rates than their secretaries

21. People like Barack Obama, who don’t need tax breaks

22. Americans who make over $250,000 per year

23. Anyone making more money now than they made 10 years ago

24. George W. Bush (again)

25. Republicans who want deep spending cuts without tax increases

26. Anyone responsible for causing a financial default that hurts America’s credit rating (other than Barack Obama, the only politician who has explicitly threatened to do so)

27. Anyone who expects Barack Obama to deal with the national debt again, in six months or less

28. Republicans who oppose tax increases (again)

29. The wealthiest Americans (again)

30. Republicans who want deep spending cuts (again)

31. Washington political warriors, other than Barack Obama

32. New members of Congress

33. Politicians who won’t compromise, other than Barack Obama

34. Leaders who can’t seem to come together, other than Barack Obama

35. Those who hold fast to rigid ideologies and refuse to listen to those who disagree, excluding Barack Obama