According to the Left, the Koch Brothers are focus of modern political evil. These wealthy benefactors of conservative causes are supposedly so toxic to democracy that accepting a single dollar of their money disqualifies an organization from participating in honest public discourse.
It was an article of religious faith among liberals, during the Wisconsin fleebagger saga, that Governor Scott Walker was hopelessly corrupt because he accepted $43,000 in donations from the Koch Brothers during his campaign. A liberal website editor made headlines by prank-calling Governor Walker and pretending to be one of the Koch Brothers, resulting in a conversation that primarily demonstrated that Walker has never actually spoken to the Kochs and has no idea what they sound like, and that the good Governor’s private conversations are remarkably consistent with his public speeches.
If you have the slightest doubt about how important this meme was to desperate liberals, try Googling “Koch donations Scott Walker” and read the hundreds of fevered screeds from lefty bloggers that will appear. Of course, every one of these people will shut up and hide under a table if you mention the name “George Soros” or point out that the Kochs have given a lot more money to other politicians, such as Democrat Andrew Cuomo of New York.
So large do the Koch Brothers loom in liberal mythology that regular protests are held outside their California estate, at which criminal trespass is routinely perpetrated by overheated demonstrators. At one such protest, organized by the Soros-funded Common Cause, demonstrators spoke freely on camera of their desire to kill the Kochs, and other liberal hate fetishes like Supreme Court justices Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas. One of these people famously expressed a desire to enslave Justice Thomas.
With this background in mind, you can imagine the Koch Brothers’ surprise when they received not just a fund-raising letter, but a phone call, from Senator Patty Murray of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, asking them for a five-figure donation. The hilarious response of Kock Government & Public Affairs president Philip Ellender is reprinted in its entirety below. If you visit the KochFacts website, you can also listen to the voice mail message Murray left them.
Senator Patty Murray, Chair
Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
Dear Senator Murray:
For many months now, your colleagues in the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee leadership have engaged in a series of disparagements and ad hominem attacks about us, apparently as part of a concerted political and fundraising strategy. Just recently, Senator Reid wrote in a DSCC fundraising letter that Republicans are trying to “force through their extreme agenda faster than you can say ‘Koch Brothers.’”
So you can imagine my chagrin when I got a letter from you on June 17 asking us to make five-figure contributions to the DSCC. You followed that up with a voicemail indicating that, if we contributed heavily enough, we would garner an invitation to join you and other Democratic leaders at a retreat in Kiawah Island this September.
I’m hoping you can help me understand the intent of your request because it’s hard not to conclude that DSCC politics have become so cynical that you actually expect people whom you routinely denounce to give DSCC money.
It is troubling that private citizens taking part in the discourse have become the targets of White House and DSCC fundraising missives, and we would certainly encourage you to rethink that approach. Ultimately, I expect voters will see through that and will weigh the issues on the merits alone. But in the meantime, if you could provide me some insight on what exactly you are asking of us and why, I would be most grateful.
President, Government & Public Affairs
Koch Companies Public Sector, LLC
What would have happened if the Kochs had decided to play along, and donated heavily enough to win that invitation to the fabulous Kiawah Island retreat? What would the Democrats have said to them? Perhaps there would have been a lot of uncomfortable coughing and averted gazes as the DSCC realized just how brain-dead, or desperate, its fundraising apparatus has become.
Or maybe the Kochs would have been told how it is never too late to embrace Hope and Change, and become good friends of the State. Statism has a bottomless appetite for both beloved supporters and reviled enemies.