U.N. Investigators Suffer Minor Bruises After Slamming Into Stone Wall

United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon is getting ready for his second term in office, even as U.N. investigators are rubbing the bruises on their foreheads caused by slamming into the stone wall around his administration.

According to a Fox News report, the investigators “charge that Ban’s methods are a step backward from the ways of his predecessor, Kofi Annan, who had promised to shed more daylight on the hiring process.”

Dear Mr. Ban: when you’re moving backwards from Kofi Annan, you’re doing something wrong.

What’s up with the Secretary General?  According to the Joint Inspection Unit of the United Nations, Ban “chooses his most important managers is shrouded in excessive secrecy, that he keeps U.N. member states in the dark about top job vacancies, that he has created elaborate and arcane titles and functions, and skimps on detailed reference checks that could determine whether top officeholders are qualified to do their jobs.” 

The investigators charge that “Ban’s executive office stonewalled them in their mandated investigation of his hiring practices, refused them access to personnel files, proposed changes to their recommendations that would, as they put it, ‘simply eviscerate the entire report,’ and contrary to normal practice refused to allow the authors to publish the Secretary General’s comments on their report.”

It should come as no surprise if that all sounds distressingly familiar.  Mix a towering bureaucracy with huge piles of cash, vague performance objectives, and limited accountability, and you’ve got the perfect environment to breed Second Assistant Under-Secretaries of Whatever, many of whom turn out to be related to the Big Cheese or his friends.

Fortunately, America has infinite money, so there’s no reason to be concerned that we’re throwing huge bales of it over the Secretary General’s stone walls, where it is doubtless used for incomprehensibly noble purposes.