The Chopra Humiliation


Look out, America!  You stand on the brink of a “national cleansing” that could become as violent as Mao’s Cultural Revolution, and only Deepak Chopra can save you.

When you’re the Huffington Post, it’s hard to “sink to a new low,” but they managed it last week by publishing a fevered screed from Deepak Chopra, an absurd figure who keeps turning up as a serious analyst in the mainstream press.  These days, his Really Deep Thoughts are concerned with the looming menace of Sarah Palin.  According to Chopra, if she decides to run for President, her election would plunge America into a Ragnarok of fire and blood.

Chopra wastes no time establishing his idiocy, making what he probably thinks is a funny Paul Revere slam in his first paragraph:

“It will be a devastating loss if Sarah Palin peddles enough books and visits enough gun shows that she has no incentive to run for president. There would be many chances for unique moments in the White House if she won. How about Sarah on horseback, riding through the Potomac basin like Paul Revere, ringing bells like he did and shouting, “The Democrats are coming!” That would give folks ample warning to quickly cling to their guns and religion before the left wing snatches them away.

“I know that she suffered ridicule for her version of Paul Revere’s ride, but from a Hollywood standpoint, she actually improved the story. Movies have soundtracks, in case anyone didn’t notice, and bells are a lot more cinematic than one lantern hanging in a church steeple. Or even two. (You can hear her defense of her version on Fox News, or as my friends call it, the F Channel.)”

Hey, Deepak?  Buddy?  Lean close so I can make this very clear to you.  She was right about Paul Revere.  You and your ignorant friends are wrong.  That’s what you get from learning history from Hollywood.  Thus does the “reality-based community” cling to its illusions, weeks after a group of Boston historians tried to save them from embarrassment. 

Also, that crack about “clinging to guns and religion?”  That was said by your boy Obama, Deepak, not Sarah Palin.  I guess recent history is as mysterious to you as American history.

Chopra’s article is a fascinating tour through an utterly clueless mind.  He thinks “Wall Street recklessness” was the sole cause of the financial meltdown.  He thinks Palin is “amazingly cheerful about the recession,” which suggests he has never listened to a single word she has said or written.  Nobody is cheerful about the Obama recession, Deepak, least of all the people who have ideas for repairing the damage after he’s gone.  Don’t mistake faith in the American spirit for nonchalance about its incompetent government.

He wants to “atone” for his earlier assessment of Palin as “our collective shadow” of “pent-up bigotry, hatred and anger,” which made her “Joe the Plumber’s calendar girl.”  He also manages to work Alcoholics Anonymous into a tortured metaphor about President Palin helping us hit rock bottom, adding insensitivity to sexism.

By contrast, Chopra now fears that “Sarah would smile her way into the presidency” and… well, it’s not exactly clear what he thinks her agenda would be.  He just throws around sneering insults about her preference for crayon scribbling to Picasso, without ever making anything approaching a coherent point.  Since the tone of the piece is a mocking plea for happy Sarah to lead a nation of mindless rubes to glory, the piece feels less like an attack on Palin than a broad insult directed at America itself, which bumbles around in the playground of its happy fantasies while Dr. Chopra sadly shakes his head and wishes it could ascend to his level.

The upshot of the Palin Presidency, according to Chopra, would be “a national cleansing, like Chairman Mao’s Cultural Revolution.  Nothing as violent, however, not at first.”  Hey, remember when airheads like Chopra and his friends were accusing Sarah Palin of being an accessory to murder because she used bulls-eye symbols on political maps, which the Tucson Shooter never actually saw?  Now Chopra thinks nothing of comparing her to a savage Communist dictator who killed millions of people.  Has “No Labels” seen this essay yet? 

Chopra’s repeated slams of Palin, and America, for unreasonable cheerfulness are confusing.  Isn’t this guy a New Age guru who made his bones by selling Oprah’s America feel-good books about inner peace and enlightenment?  And now he’s mad at us for being too happy?  He’s not taking the end of Oprah’s show very well, is he?

This remarkable bit of intellectual flatulence is really directed more at the American public than Sarah Palin.  Every paragraph drips with contempt for the people he thinks will lurch toward Washington like a zombie horde, if the Maid of Wasilla gets into the White House and summons them with her beer bong. 

What else can a self-appointed elitist like Deepak Chopra do?  He knows even less about economics than he does about history, so it’s not as if he can write a persuasive article about the wondrous achievements of Obamanomics.  That’s why he took the time to vent his spleen on flyover-country America, and express his dripping contempt for their possible willingness to consider voting for someone who isn’t even running yet.

He and his ilk are faced with the absolute, complete, and comprehensive failure of everything they believe in.  Its ruin is clearly visible all around us.  You’ll see more of this cornered-rat behavior from them, as they are left with no recourse but to hiss their hate and fury at the American people who are preparing to pass judgment on them in 2012, and hope for rescue from the dwindling core of supporters who share their hatreds enough to be blinded by them.