The television adaptation of Robert Kirkman’s brilliant graphic novel series about a zombie apocalypse, The Walking Dead, included a scene where the survivors stop at the Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta. This seems like a sensible thing for people running from zombies in Atlanta to do, but no such scene occurs in the book. When he was asked why in an interview, the author sheepishly admitted that he didn’t know CDC was based in Atlanta.
Well, the Centers for Disease Control is going to make darn sure that no one else leaves them out of their undead disaster plans. They’ve published a blog post entitled “Preparedness 101: Zombie Apocalypse,” which provides a list of supplies to pack into a zombie emergency kit, including:
Tools and supplies
Sanitation and hygiene
Clothing and bedding
First aid supplies
This disturbing list is clear evidence that the CDC wants to thin out the population by getting people killed, because there is something very conspicuously missing from the zombie survival kit. Hint: it contains bullets, and blows zombie heads off.
Now, the idea behind this CDC publication is to have a little fun with disaster preparedness. The precautions contained in their zombie survival guide are equally applicable to earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters. Of course, exercising your Second Amendment rights in such situations can also be prudent.
The CDC’s zombie document has become a very popular blog post, so its mission of getting people to read up on disaster preparedness with a dash of pop-culture humor appears to have succeeded. That’s commendable. I live in an area that alternates between apathy and panicked over-reaction during hurricane season.
It’s a pity the CDC made a mockery of their mockery by leaving out something every fan of zombie movies knows is indispensable, and ruined an entertaining illusion by defying common sense. They could at least have proposed the alternative solution of defending your house from zombies with genetically-engineered killer plants.