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Al-Qaeda: Yeah, He’s Toast

Al-Qaeda has made it official, releasing a statement that confirms the death of its leader, Osama Bin Hidin In His Bedroom For Five Years.

The New York Post relays an excerpt from the statement, which is still being reviewed by terrorism experts for authenticity: “We in al-Qaeda organization pledge to Allah the almighty and ask for his help, support, and steadfastness to continue on the path of jihad, the path walked upon by our leaders, and on top of them, Sheikh Osama.”  I join them in hoping to see Sheikh Osama piled on top of their other leaders someday.  It’s possible, if the tides in the Arabian Sea are just right, and we sink the rest of their leaders deep enough.

Al-Qaeda also called upon “our Muslim people in Pakistan, on whose land Sheikh Osama was killed, to rise up and revolt to cleanse this shame that has been attached to them by a clique of traitors and thieves who sold everything to the enemies.  We call upon them to rise up strongly and in general to cleanse their country from the filth of the Americans who spread corruption in it.” 

There were some protesters marching in Abbottabad today, and per al-Qaeda’s wishes, they certainly were revolting.  Current estimates put the crowd size at roughly one thousand, with a smaller demonstration in another city, Quetta, organized by a pro-Taliban party.  According to AFP, one of the banners said, “If you want to save Pakistan, you will have to break the chains of American slavery.”  So, no more foreign aid for Pakistan, then?  I think we might be able to reach an understanding with these folks.

Reuters provides another choice quote from the al-Qaeda statement, directed at jubilant Americans: “Their happiness will turn into sorrow, and their blood will be mixed with their tears.”  That’s a pretty good description of the White House press office these days, as they roll out Version 28.5 of the bin Laden raid story. 

The new story is that bin Laden was “scared and completely confused” during the raid, unarmed but within reach of several weapons.  This is very different from the beta-test bull shoveled by the Obama team in the early hours after the raid, where bin Laden was portrayed as a cornered gangster with a blazing AK-47 in one hand, and a matrimonial body shield in the other.

They’re also now saying that only one of the people killed during the raid was armed, while bin Laden’s son was blown away after he “rushed down from the third floor and confronted the SEALs.”  I would advise against confronting SEALs at the bargain DVD bin of a Wal-Mart, let alone during a commando raid. 

I’ve got no problems with liquidating bin Laden and everyone who participated in hiding him, no questions asked, no matter what they were doing last Sunday night.  It’s increasingly insulting to both the SEALs, and Americans, that the White House thought they had to revise the true history of the raid into a Michael Bay film in order to gain our support and admiration.  This White House spends way too much time worrying about the delicate feelings of its childish hard-Left base and their international auxiliaries… and none of that tender concern stopped cretins like Michael Moore from filling the Internet with paranoid ravings anyway.

Al-Qaeda says the world will soon hear a final audio message from bin Laden.  It was recorded a week before his death, so it won’t be “Hang on a second, someone’s at the door.”  It would be nice to have those bin Laden death photos to look at while we listen to al-Qaeda’s number one cockroach skitter across the world stage one last time.

Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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