EPA Raps for Earth Day

Yo yo yo! Ready to do your part for Earth Day? Well, if enough people listen to this dreadful rap song released by the Envirormental Protection Agency (emphasis on “mental”) enough people may kill themselves, freeing up resources for others. According to CNS, this piece of propaganda set to music  urges us to “blast out” the song at our Earth Day celebrations — “because if this won’t save the planet nothing will.”

If we’re waiting for a rap song to save us, we’re in deeper trouble than anyone could imagine. Prepare for your senses to be grievously assaulted.

In case you didn’t catch some of the lyrics, here’s a sampling.

You can pick up paper and recycle it too, and there are many other things that you can do. You can click off the game boy, flip off the light, while you’re brushing your teeth, turn the handle to the right. Close the fridge door – keep it shut tight, no food has been added since the middle of the night. A 5 minute shower is all that’s needed to keep energy from being depleted. A long sleeve sweater is what I know – will keep you toasty and the fuel bills low. Plant a tree in your neighborhood, besides giving shade you know it looks real good.

A long sleeve sweater to keep fuel bills low? What, did Jimmy Carter help write this? OK, so let’s sit around shivering, it’s for the children! Plant a tree in your neighborhood? OK, but make sure you get the proper permits before you do so.

The USA is where we are to kick a new trend and to raise the bar. The climate is changing and that’s a fact, bears don’t know when to take a nap, On top of that it won’t be cool when the flood waters rise and mosquitoes rule. It’s time to get off the couch and start to move.

The climate is changing and that’s a fact? Really? I guess if you repeat propaganda talking points enough you start to believe it. Bears don’t know when to take a nap? Sure they do. When it gets cold. Get off the couch and start to move? Hmm. This doesn’t have anything to do with Michelle Obama’s “Let’s Move” initiative, does it?

The main theme is to stop using your car and to use public transportation. As if the target audience here actually drives.

Come on and Click it, flip it, turn the handle to the right, turn off the water, twist the handle real tight. Slip on your sneakers, lace em up tight, leave the car parked you know that’s alright. Public transportation is the way to go, it’s one of the ways to keep emissions low, you can ride your bike, instead of the car, if we save on fuel then we’ll all go far.

He forgot to tell the kids to keep their bicycle tires properly inflated. Granted, since gas prices under Obama have double and will likely triple before long, we won’t be able to drive anywhere as it is. I guess that’s the motivation behind this.