Obama Returns to Harlem

For the first time since the 2008 campaign, our wartime president is returning to Harlem, but not all the residents there are thrilled to see him. Why is that? Well, it’s not as if Barack Obama will be out in the streets to mingle with the locals. Now that he’s gone on television to explain our role in Libya, he’s getting back to what he does best: Raising money for Democrats. He’ll be there later today  to appear at a $30,800 per plate fundraiser, which leaves some feeling left out. “I think that’s ridiculous,” said Hope Cameron, 52, a stay-at-home mom who lives nearby. “In Harlem, who has that kind of money?”

Who has that kind of money? Well, wealthy Democrats, that’s who. “I think it’s ridiculous,” added Maurice Lenin, 45, who had just balked at spending $10 on Chinese for lunch. “Harlem has been messed up since way back in the day and now they’re wanting to charge us $30,000?”  “He should be eating with us for free,” Lenin added. Don’t feel bad, Maurice. If he’s in trouble come election time next year, he’ll be back to schmooze with the little people.

Others, meanwhile, are thrilled to see him return to Harlem. “It’s not like he’s a stranger to Harlem — when he was a student at Columbia, he used to work these streets all the time,” said Assemblyman Keith Wright. 

He used to work the streets? Uh, doing what?

Well, that’s about as much as we’ve ever found out about Obama’s stint at Columbia.