Installing Democracy

The Hill tells us that President Obama had a phone call with the Prime Minister of Turkey on Monday night, and let slip that the ultimate objective of Operation Odyssey Dawn is “installing a democratic system that respects the people’s will.”

Wow, that’s a lot more elaborate than just preventing the Libyans from flying airplanes!  Installing a democratic system is tricky.  First you’ve got to uninstall CrazyDictator 1.0, and it’s harder to get rid of than America Online.  It has a nasty habit of reinstalling itself with a new user interface if you don’t completely purge it. 

Once that’s done, you need a stable build of People’s Will 2011, and that’s hard to get running on a system that has already been corrupted by CrazyDictator.  Only then can you load the full Enlightened Democracy package, and let’s face it, that sucker is buggy as hell.  It’s filled with undocumented features, and often requires extensive tech support to reboot after it crashes.

No one has ever been able to install Enlightened Democracy remotely.  It has to be done with a massive on-site team, and the process takes years.  There has arguably never been a stable installation of Enlightened Democracy, even after billions were spent on development.

Who’s going to handle the project in Libya?  We don’t even know who’s in charge of the operation.  For some reason, no one is leaping forward to take over from Obama before he heads back to the golf course.  As for Turkey, they’re eager to assure everyone they won’t lift a finger in Libya or allow NATO to intervene, but the Deputy Prime Minister is eager to help out with bombing… Israel.  Heck, that’s the only place in the Middle East we can get a halfway decent backup copy of Enlightened Democracy.

Doesn’t “installing a democratic system” sound like the kind of project Congress should have discussed, before the President committed us to it?  Why is the Prime Minister of Turkey the first person to hear about this?