Phantoms of the Left

One of the programs National Public Radio airs with your generous compulsory subsidy is a comedy quiz show called Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me.  It includes a segment called “Bluff the Listener,” in which contestants call in and guess which of several unlikely news stories, proposed by a crack team of comedians, is actually true.  I’m not sure what the contestant wins if he gets it right, but you should stop asking questions like that.  Just shut up and pay your taxes.

Anyway, last Saturday the crack panel of comedians included a Muslim comic named Maz Jabrani, who contributed a made-up news story about conservative commentator Michelle Malkin.  Jabrani began by “factually” stating that Malkin “has expressed her fear that there are Muslims among us who are hiding their true identity… the most prominent, she claims, being Barack Obama.”  He proceeded to make up a “hilarious” phony news story about Malkin’s grandfather being such a hidden Muslim.

I don’t know why Jabrani didn’t go for broke and name Malkin’s missing, and possibly abducted, cousin Marizela Perez as the secret agent of Islam in the family.  Is it possible he didn’t know about her disappearance, or Malkin’s tireless efforts to find her?  You’re not going to tell me that NPR employs a bunch of slobbering bigots who don’t have a clue what they’re talking about, are you?  That would be so out-of-step with their management philosophy.

(If you live in the Seattle area and want to join the search for Marizela, please click here.)

Malkin, of course, has never fretted about “secret Muslims,” or suggested President Barack Hussein Obama is one of them.  She is a frequent critic of NPR, however.  Unable to engage her on the merits of her arguments, or even make fun of her by riffing on things she’s actually said, NPR’s “edgy” comedian just invented a slanderous caricature and presented it as fact before mocking it.

This sort of thing is happening with more frequency.  Last Friday, HBO’s full-time embarrassment, Bill Maher, used a crude sexual slander to curse Sarah Palin for “demanding we invade ‘Tsunami’” after she “heard what happened in Japan.”  Maher insisted she said “these ‘Tsunamians’ will not get away with this,” right before using a phrase that should have ended his career, if anyone with standards was left at HBO.

Just a made-up quote used to poke fun at a popular target, right?  The problem is that this little “joke” is a call-back to something Sarah Palin never said – the Tina Fey line about being able to see Russia from her backyard.  This line has been chiseled into her biography with such force that it comes up in hard news stories and serious interviews.  Maher’s not mocking Palin.  He’s mocking a mockery of Palin, dismissing her as a “dumb t—t” on the grounds of a caricature liberals invented out of thin air. 

The man who actually did become Vice President is an addled loon who can be made sport of by simply repeating things he has said verbatim.  The woman who rounded out the losing ticket is shoved into the background while the Left tackles a decoy they made out of straw.  Michelle Malkin has leveled devastating criticisms at NPR, and they respond by having a taxpayer-subsidized comedian set up jokes based on things she never said. 

The intellectual defeat of the Left is complete.  They can’t even tell a fair joke any more.  They spend their time wrestling with phantoms that are of no concern to the rest of us.