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Tiny Terrorist Praises Democracy

Just in case you were afraid Moammar Qaddafi had inhaled all the crazy in the Middle East, along comes Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, to reassure us there is plenty to go around.  And soon Ahmadinejad’s crazy will be nuclear powered!  Won’t that be great?

At a news conference Wednesday, the Tiny Terrorist denounced Qaddafi’s brutal suppression of demonstrators as “grotesque,” and called upon Middle Eastern dictators – er, make that other Middle Eastern dictators – to “serve your people and stand beside the people so that people do not revolt against you.”  Told his own people are revolting, Ahmadinejad exclaimed, “You ain’t kidding!  They stink on ice!” and retired for a relaxing afternoon of using Iranian students as skeet-shooting targets.

According to Fox News, Ahmadinejad also “said the world was in need of a just system of rule that puts an end to oppression, occupation, and humiliation of people.”  Of course, people like Neda Soltan who object to the just rule of Ahmadinejad deserve a bullet in the head, and a humiliating death in the streets.  When everyone submits, no one is oppressed.  It’s only resistance to the righteous that fills the streets with the tears of Allah, which smell quite a bit like tear gas.

Mahmoud isn’t worried about the fires of revolution spreading to Iran.  He knows exactly where they’re going next. “Changes will be forthcoming and will engulf the whole world from Asia to Africa and from Europe to North America,” he declared.  Ha!  What an ignoramus.  You can’t engulf politicians with change if they flee across state lines.  North America’s highly mobile population of Democrat representatives will never be engulfed!

Aside from the hilarious lunacy of Ahmadinejad’s pronouncements, there’s a real point to be made here: Iran expects to be the major beneficiary of Middle Eastern turmoil.  Their own government is secure behind an army of storm troopers, and their Hezbollah clients are dug into Lebanon.  The Shiite population in Bahrain will bring their influence to the eastern coast of Saudi Arabia.  The world is not sufficiently concerned about Iran’s happiness.   

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Written By

John Hayward began his blogging career as a guest writer at Hot Air under the pen name "Doctor Zero," producing a collection of essays entitled Doctor Zero: Year One. He is a great admirer of free-market thinkers such as Arthur Laffer, Milton Friedman, and Thomas Sowell. He writes both political and cultural commentary, including book and movie reviews. An avid fan of horror and fantasy fiction, he has produced an e-book collection of short horror stories entitled Persistent Dread. John is a former staff writer for Human Events. He is a regular guest on the Rusty Humphries radio show, and has appeared on numerous other local and national radio programs, including G. Gordon Liddy, BattleLine, and Dennis Miller.

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